The Way Of Life

71:
It's always been you and me.
It ends with us, whether you like it or not.
We are two sides of the same coin.
It's fate.
-Nex

72:
I think it's funny how I stopped thinking about you and all of a sudden you show up in my dreams.
My mind is playing me and I hate it.
I want to leave you behind but now you haunt me in my dreams.
-Nex

73: Mother
I lost count of how many times you said "I don't know what I did wrong raising you or your sister, but I must have done something wrong or you wouldn't have turned out like this".
You're right you did something wrong and I know what, you couldn't love us the way we needed you to.
It feels like you don't understand us and our problems. It feels like you were never truly there for us, like you are a stranger.
It hurts but it's the truth.
We have to suffer the consequences of you not knowing how to be a parent.
-Nex

74:
You used to be the one to heal my wounds. I huged you and everything was better.
But now you are the one to cause my pain.
I still don't understand what happened, why our friendship changed so much and I'll probably never find an answer.
It hurts not to be able to talk to you, see you or hug you.
I have to find a way to live without that but it will be very hard.
I miss you and I fear that that will never end.
I can't just let you go like you did me.
I think that I am the Problem here because you've been long gone and I am still here wayting for you to come back but you will never return.
-Nex

75:
I don't know what to write anymore. I'm so numb and I can't think clearly.
My mind is a maze, that I got lost in.
-Nex

76: a love that wasn't meant  to be
We were never meant to be,
No matter how hard we tried,
Our love was like a shooting star,
That burned out in the sky.
So now I say goodbye to you,
And all the love we shared,
I'll always cherish our memories,
But know that they were never meant to last.
-Nex

77: twin flames
Two flames that once burned bright and true
Born of the same fire, two hearts that beat as one, it seems two souls that met, twin flames
But as the years whent by, they changed
Their love, it faded
The bond that once was strong and true began to fade
Two flames that once burned bright and clear
Two souls that met, twin flames, now fear
The love they shared, it's gone away
The bond they had, it couldn't stay
-Nex

78: apology
I loved you once with all my heart,
And trusted you to keep it safe.
But then you tore that trust apart,
And left me in a bitter space.
You hurt me in a thousand ways,
And left me with a broken soul.
And though I begged for you to stay,
You left me with an empty hole.
I waited for an apology,
For recognition of your crime.
But you refused to set me free,
And left me with a shattered mind.
And still I wait, so many years,
For you to right the wrong you've done.
To dry the flood of all my tears,
And help me find a brighter sun.
But maybe I will wait in vain,
For you to come and make things right.
And maybe I will feel the pain,
Of never finding peace in sight.
-Nex

TW!: SA
79:
If you continue to silence me, I'll just scream louder.
SA isn't a joke or something to just overplay.
Your story matters and is valid!
-Nex

80:
"For the shame of being young, drunk and alone."
-Noah Kahan
I have never had so much alcohol that I've done something stupid and or recless and I've never drank alcohol to feel better or to silence the pain,
But this line still hurts.
-Nex

81:
One thing that I will never understand:
How he looked at me so in love and in awe even tho he never wanted something serious.
I still feel so stupid for beliving that someone would be actually interested in me.
-Nex

82:
Sure I survived but I am left with so much trauma.
I don't know how to live like this.
I don't know who I am anymore and I don't think that I will ever find out who I became becuase of all this pain.
-Nex