BEFOREMATH (SJSM fanfic)

Meow

Hugo:

I think.. this is the last specimen ?? What's beyond this specimen ?? I don't think I want to know.. but hey, I think I'll die anyway, what's the harm in trying to find out ( assuming this one doesn't kill me ) ?
Actually, where is this specimen ?? Is the specimen invisible ? Is the room alive ?? Will the walls close in and crush me to death ?? Is the door the specimen ?!
Maybe I'm thinking too much into it.. why should I try to figure it out ? It'll be all for nothing outside of learning what else here can and likely will kill me.

" Hello, are you lost, little one ? "
I flinched a bit, I turned to see a tiny white-pink cat, it looked a little cartoony, but its cute, but I also don't trust it.
I just shrugged and kept looking around the room, the cat seemed to be following me..
This room is.. open... And very vacant.
Whatever, I'll just go through the exit door, all the others are metal doors and I don't trust those-

.. it's locked
It won't budge ?? Was it a fake door ??
The Cat patted my leg, I looked down at it
" Sorry, that door can't open yet, you must venture through the fixed metal doors, you must find yourself, the true key to freedom "
.. okay, a little wholesomely deep for this place, and cryptic, but the cryptic part works well enough around here.
I guess I have no choice
The cat hurried off to a door, I just slowly dragged myself there and opened the door, it's a half pink half yellow room with some arrow pointing at me and these red worm things moving from side to side.
I was a bit taken aback, I looked at it weirdly and raised a brow, the cat walked in and so did I

" Two sides of the same coin, knowing your projections can help you achieve freedom "
.. why is it talking to me ? Is it trying to make me feel better ?
What it said is cool to think about but still, doesn't make me happier, and besides, I don't exactly understand what it means by projections, and what does two sides of the same coin have to do with this ?
Why am I trying to deconstruct this ? There's more important things to do ( I think.. ), maybe it's just trying to distract me.
We stared at each other in silence for a bit before I just walked out, the cat following me closely, I just tried to ignore it

" ... Little one, I can sense that you're upset and unwell, but do not fear, I am here to guide people "
" ..... I'm sure you are "
The cat didn't respond and just lead me to the next room. This one looks like an office, it has a monitor and Windows to the outside, but these windows just look like the same exact painting. The place is kind of dirty too.
The cat jumped up on the table and sat on the keyboard, I just looked around while it started to talk again.
"  The mask you wear serves it's purpose well, be careful not to lose yourself in it "
" ... "
" ... Though, it might be too late for you "
Ok, I didn't need that. Thanks, oh great cat meant to hide people
I heard something click and then the cat jumped off the keyboard, I looked towards where the cat had been, the screen of the computer had turned bright red, the cat was motioning for me to keep watching, and some strange video appeared.. it's.. my friends ??
I have to see this
How did a cat manage to get this

There's no sound, but I can see them run away from the mansion, I can tell by their faces that they were giggling, they- they were giggling- right after they had left me, did they think this was funny ?! Did they really think leaving me here on purpose was funny ?! If they were trying to prank me by making me think they left then why didn't they come back ?!
I clenched my fists, feeling both fear, hurt, and anger
Huh.. Why do I even call them my friends, real friends WOULDN'T FUCKING DO THIS !!??
The screen started getting messed up, more static appeared, the cat got back on the table as words slowly started to appear..
' they left you, now you're all alone '
' you seem to desire companion ship, and I know just the person '
' you can be a leader of a crowd '
' ensure something like this never happens again '
I stared and kept rereading those words, I shook my head and stormed out of the room, the cat quickly followed

" Well, I did tell you not to lose yourself in your mask, and it looks like it broke off, you're a lot more emotional and temperamental- " " I GET IT !! "
The cat kept smiling and walking, it opened another door and ran in, I walked in. I hate this room already
The walls and ceiling looking like outer space, you can still land on the ground, it's like there's think glass keeping you from falling into an abyss. It's very disorientating, it's making my head hurt more than it already does.
" Balance is key to keeping your mind free and sane "
" Thanks, this room really helps a lot .. " I replied sarcastically, I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes, the cat just walked up and patted my leg, " it'll take some getting used to, but don't worry, space is a calm place, no noise, and nobody to harm you " " and you can't scream out for help.. "
The cat chuckled, " you really are perfect.. I'm glad they told me "
" ... Whatever "
" One last room, and you'll be set free, now let's go, your negative aura is destroying the room "
" Wait wha- "
The ceiling cracked and sounds of screaming errupted, I yelped and we both got out of there. Jesus fucking christ- knowing this place, jesus might not be a great thing to mention, I might get killed faster

" .. that was your fault, you know "
" Wh- "
" Too much negative energy can cause a bad environment, your attitude isn't helping anyone "
" I.. guess that makes sense.. "
" Learn to have control and understanding of yourself, otherwise you might fall deeper "
" Yea and you sure are helping a lot "
" You're welcome "
I don't trust this thing, I don't care if it's trying to give my therapy, if I do somehow by whatever sliver of a chance make it out, then yes, I would need therapy, but not right here right now, I need to process my trauma on my own first.
At least we're at the last door, unless this is how I die

Yeah ok the room is bright red
The cat sat in the middle of it, I slowly stepped in and the door behind me vanished, the cat used it's tail to point around the room, " this.. is you, knowing your shadow would've helped you, but perhaps you are the shadow, the shadow holding you back "
" ... I've known all my life that I'm the problem, you don't need to remind me "
" It's hard not to, seeing as this represents your nonphysical state of being "
" ... What "
" Your trauma, your feelings, your perception of others.. is all. Right. Here. "
It clicked it's paws like how a human would click their fingers, screams immediately ensued, I saw faces everywhere, I gasped and fell down, but even looking down I can see it-
Words
Faces
People
Random flashes of my memories
What the fuck ?! What is this cat doing to me ?!
AHHH I can hear everything !! Why !! Why !!?? I don't want to be reminded of these terrible things !!
Stop !! Make it stop !! God I already can't handle it ! It's only been a few seconds ! I'm so fucking useless..
I just want it to end ! I don't need to keep being yelled at ! I don't need to be reminded that I'm hated, that I'm imperfect, I'm the problem, I know it ! I acknowledge it ! I'm trying !! I keep trying to improve but I can't !!
Why is this stupid cat torturing me like this ?! I don't care if this is a representation of my trauma ! It hurts !!

I don't want to see those faces.. faces of people who hurt me, and of those who I've annoyed !! Leave me alone !!
The cat lifted my chin as I sat there on my knees, sobbing, it had a devilish look on it's face, I can feel myself sinking into the room, the room is becoming really liquidy..
" Do you wish to succumb to what you've experienced, or do you wish fight ? "
" F- FIGHT ?! "
" Good " and it clawed at me-