BEFOREMATH (SJSM fanfic)

Rumble Tumble

Specimen 4:

It's been a while since I've seen that kid.. I still feel so guilty for our encounter together, I wonder where she is now.. I won't be surprised if she died somehow, but that's still unpleasant, I wish I could've helped but I'm aware that I'm too mentally unstable to try and help someone, I think my hallucinations got worse, too, I'm seeing a red humanoid figure around every now and then from the corner of my eye, but it vanishes so fast.. well, I hope it's a hallucinaton, I'm not sure how I'd feel having a roommate without my knowledge, especially knowing how.. protective anf unwell I can get. I don't want to hurt more people.

For now, I'll just be wallowing in my sorrows, all I can do is draw on chalkboards, write logs, read, and try to mess with the furniture, but I've been doing these things over and over again for the past several years that I'm getting tired of it, I want to do something new. I've already read each book at least three times, I've made several different forts out of tables and chairs, and I quickly run out of chalk, it's painfully boring, yet is also slowly driving me more and more insane, I'm just repeating the same things every single day.

I laid down on a make shift bed made of tables and some random cloths I found around the school, it's a bit uncomfortable but oh well.. what else can I do ? This is as good as it'll get.
I turned over on my side, trying to just space out to kill some time, and hopefully just fall asleep somehow, it's been a very long time since I've slept for more than a couple of hours, and even longer since I've slept with no nightmares haunting me, but hey, even if I got a good day's rest and had no nightmares, I'd still wake up to the real nightmare that I'm in, I can't really even call this a situation anymore, this is just what the rest of my time might look like, confined and restriced, treated like some sort of wild animal, I'm used to people assuming I'm an awful person, I am one, but this is horrible.. maybe I do deserve it, but by the looks of things, most of the others really don't..

I just.. need to sleep..
I turned over again, my bed shook a little and a book fell, it's whatever, that happens sometimes, and I just grew slightly more annoyed hearing another book fall down, it seems as if my bed is shaking a lot.
I felt my bed rumbling, shaking and falling apart beneath me, I immediately floated upwards and looked around, I can hear it, it's like an earthquake is happening !!
I phased through a falling bookshelf, I'm afraid to leave my room, but what else am I supposed to do ?! This place is falling apart ! I can try to risk it.. I either stay here and risk forgetting to go incorporeal and getting hit, or stay in the rubble, or escape to where it might be safe ?? The specimen 1s say that the room that aren't the special places are constantly moving and/or changing unless a door is open and it doesn't change if someone is inside, maybe those rooms could be safe there ??

I went to start flying out of my room, phasing through falling lockers and chairs that are being thrown around, this is no ordinary earthquake, it's as if some force is swirling and throwing things around like a tornado, it makes sense for something like this to happen, but its still unusual, and is it just me, or do I hear faint screaming ??
I left my room and was greeted with a plain room made of blue bricks, it's very small, but it's also shaking..
Wow.. it's been so long since I've seen the outside of my room that I'm.. oddly mesmerized, I feel a sort of freedom, this feel so surreal to me, the brightness of the blue bricks felt like an attack to my brain and eyes, but it still looks so beautiful, it's lovely, it's the complete opposite to the cold, damp, darkness of my room, this place feels so much safer, I could just sit here and clear my mind..

I snapped out of my trance upon feeling a ceiling tile hit me on the head, I gasped and fell over- right- I shouldn't get so side tracked.
I started flying off again, it felt so surreal zooming through rooms after being restricted to a dimmly lit school, it made me feel slightly dizzy and disoriented, having the brightness of these new walls blur past me felt so strange, I'm not sure whether to be happy or concerned.
It seems like all the rooms I've gone through so far are falling apart, is the mansion about to collapse ? In a way, I hope it does, it's not safe for both us and humans for us to be in the same territory, but this place is abusive, it's horrible to both people and whatever we are, it doesn't deserve to stay active.

An alarm started to blare, I flinched from the sudden loudness, I grunted and covered my ears, stopping in ny tracks as the horrible sounds continued, a lan assistant saying something on the speaker, but I'm not really willing to listen.
I just need to start moving again, but the sudden uprise in noise messed with my head, it's hard to start moving again, and it scared me so suddenly that I deactivated my incorporeality.
I slowly took a few steps forward, trying to move as fast as I can to avoid being crushed and go back to phasing through objects, something like this shouldn't be so hard- it's just some falling concrete, and I have abilities that let me go unscathed by these things, said abilities getting foiled because it suddenly got extremely loud

I can
I can make !!
The whole ceiling is about to fall !!
Come on just a bit more !!!-