BEFOREMATH (SJSM fanfic)

really bored

Specimen 6:

So uh.. how long has it been ??
I've lost track of time at this point.. it's Maybe been a bit under a year now ?? I got here just before 1981.. so now it should be 1982 soon.
God- time passes by so fast yet so slowly,
Apparently a lab assistant named 77 did something and is now being put on trial, only reason they're keeping nyan alive is because nya has a lot of knowledge that they're extracting out of nyan, nya is constantly being psychologically tortured too.. jesus.. I'm afraid to find out what nya did to deserve that

Meanwhile, all I've been doing is making more puppets, whether that be out of random scrap or the people they sacrifice to me, it's a fun hobby and all, but I'm getting tired of doing the same thing all the time every day..
Usually this nice lab assistant would come in occasionally to give me and other specimen some company, but he's been gone for so long now. I don't know how the others are taking it, I, personally, miss him a lot, he was really the only saving grace here, he's a victim just as much as us specimen are, he's being kept here against his own will
Only reason I know this is because I overhear gossip from the other lab assistants, they don't seem to like him since he's actually nice to us.. what a bunch of pricks, they're all assholes to us specimen, well.. at least most of them are

Apparently they think I'm the easiest to manage since I follow instructions, but really, what else am I supposed to do here ? I have nothing to lose and nothing to do here, if they kill me somehow, so what ? If I get sent to the hellgates, so what ? I mean- I'd prefer not being there but still, both places are horrible, the experiments and torture are just that, they're torture, they're pure anguish, we're being abused because they want to know things and make us more " useful " " stronger " and " keep us away from the world "
Ok fine, I can get behind not wanting us freaks of hell out with other humans, I can get not letting us interact because they're afraid of what we might do together, but really ?? Why do we have to suffer so much ? I know the others before me aren't as bad as I am, I'm aware that I'm guilty of kidnapping and murder, but the others aren't at my level.
I know this because the Specimen 1s like visiting all of us, we specimen communicate through them, but communication doesn't happen often, especially with Specimen 5 and the 3s, they said the 3s don't want to talk and Specimen 5 is too upset to speak with anyone as of now.

I'm not sure I like the Specimen 1s, a lot of them are harsh and very mean, they seem to somehow know of your insecurities and make fun of you for them, it's awful but I hardly have anyone else to talk to.
The ones that give me the worst gut feelings are Jeli, Stural and Bubs, I won't be fooled by their cutesy facade, something is wrong with them specifically..

Whatever.. I'm trapped, forced to go through hell
At least Christmas is coming up soon.. maybe we'll do something fun for once but I won't be surprised if nothing happens, nothing good nor exciting ever happens in here.
Making dolls and toys has started feeling more like a chore rather than something I enjoy, the experiments frighten me, and the lab assistants are merciless, horrible people.
I've been trying to just sleep whenever I don't want to make things, but the horrors of what they've done to me keep me awake for so long.

I wish I could talk to the other specimen in person, but I don't think that'll be happening any time soon unfortunately.
I could make dolls for them maybe ? I'll have to ask the specimen 1s some questions first though, besides, what else can I even do here ? It's not like the hellgates are better..
I just hope they let us do something fun or let us interact or something more than just sitting here waiting for the next interview or experiment, I just want to talk to someone normally, I don't want questions about my strengths weaknesses fears backstory etc, I just want a friendly talk, is that really so much to ask for ? Am I really in the wrong for this ? Jesus..

Maybe I could make myself a new outfit, I'm due something new to wear anyways, what I'm wearing currently is starting to get ripped and dirty and there's nowhere to clean it, and while I could keep sewing it back together, there's more holes and rips that keep appearing, it's annoying me.. eugh...