Dreams into Reality

The fine art of bullshit

I contemplated Thorin's words, my mind racing before I shook my head gently, "I can't, Thorin," I whispered softly before sliding off the bench and moving to go back inside until I felt his fingers wrap against my wrist gently.

"You're lying. You can. What is stopping you?" his voice questioned, turning me to face him again. I look up at him before slowly pulling my wrist away.

"What's stopping me? You really wish to know Thorin?" he nodded at my question before I took a deep breath, holding my wrist against my stomach before I started to speak, "I'm afraid I'm not enough for you. I'm not from this world, Thorin, nor an elf, dwarf, or hobbit... Nor am I like the men here. I'm weak-"

"Weak?" he questioned, shaking his head, "no, you're not-" I scoffed at his words before rolling up my sleeves and showing him my arms.

"This... This is weak, Thorin; this is what weak people do-"

"That is what strong people do. You are strong, Tay. Stronger than most men, dwarf, hobbit, and elf combined. You are not weak, and you have stories, signs that you have survived even the darkest times."

I go to speak up but get pulled into him as I feel a lump in my throat, my head pressed against his chest as one of his hands finds my hips, and the other is placed in my hair, holding me against him. "You are a wolf in a world full of lambs, the black sheep in a world full of white sheep... You are strong because Eru needed you to be strong to deal with being my one," I could tell he was trying to make me laugh or smile, but my heart was aching.

"Thorin... I don't know if I'll be here forever. What if I disappear one night because Gandalf decides to send me back to my earth? What if another wizard learns of my existence here and sends me home? What then?" I question, pulling away from him, "what then? I can't be with you and then lose you all within a few days," my voice cracks, "I can't love you from afar anymore when I have you right here!" my voice was breaking as I spoke to him, "you can't tell me you love me, or that I'm your one when I'm... I'm not even from here, and I can't be what you want me to be Thorin. I can't be a queen. I can't be a fighter... I'm weak, pathetic waste of space.." the words flow through me as I just let it all out. "I can't be what you need me to be either... You deserve so much better than me."

"Why do you feel this way? Why do you think people deserve better than you? Why do you think you're not what I want or need?"

"Because nobody cares about me! I'm only in people's lives to make them okay and see that they can have someone better! I am nothing! I am a nobody, nothing to everyone around me. I'm a filler! I don't deserve to feel the love! Why do you think scars riddle my body? Because nobody cares to help! They want me to take their burdens, to take their problems, but no one... no one wants to help me. I can't rely on anyone. I can't trust anyone because every time I do... They proved to me that they were faking everything, from their love to their feelings. I'm just a filler..."

Thorin's POV

I listen to her speak, a crack in her voice as she tries to fight the tears, and I watch her closely, eyes scanning her closely, watching how her eyes start to water, "Tay..." I start before there's a blinding light, a voice I don't recall, and then the lights, along with my one, are gone.

"TAY?!" I yell, looking around; her words... She called it. "GANDALF, YOU STUPID WIZARD, BRING HER BACK!" I rush into the shape shifter's house, shoving past everyone to get to Gandalf, "bring Tay back! Now!" I yell at him, the wizard looking at me with bewildered eyes, causing me to growl before shoving things off the ledge next to him. "Someone took my one away! There was a... Light, and the next thing I know, she's not there! Bring her back to me!"