A Cheaper By The Dozen fanfic.
Abigail "Abby" Baker is the 3rd oldest of the Baker family. She's got 12 siblings but now she has to navigate moving away to a whole other city.
Abby changed out of her pajamas putting on her new outfit for the day. (remember this is 2003 so the outfits aren't the best) She put on low-rise jeans with a cute purple tank top, then she headed towards the bathroom.
"Lorraine! Open the bathroom door before I beat it down!" She yelled beating on the door.
"Just because you don't value self presentation like I do doesn't mean I'm giving you the bathroom."
"Well Barbie, not everyone is the same." She kept beating on the door.
Lorraine swung the door open, "at least I'm not 5 foot 1."
"I'm 5 foot 2!"
"Same difference."
"We're the same height!"
"Well I'm still not done." Lorraine started to close the door.
Abby slid her foot in the door and slipped into the bathroom. She pushed Lorraine out of the way to brush her teeth.
"You little-"
"Finish that sentence and I tell mom."
Lorraine moved out of the way to let Abby finish. Meanwhile downstairs was the usual morning chaotic.
"Dude, two words: need new skates." Jake said coming in with the skates he didn't want.
"Dude, three words: paper route." Kate told him.
'Hi. Can't make dinner. Hank and l are moving into our new apartment. Love, Nora' Kate read off of the computer.
"Of course she can't, she never can. It's always Hank. He's such a doorknob." Abby scoffed while walking past.
"Abby, don't say that."
"Well I just did, plus it's true."
"Have you seen Beans, Abby?
"Sorry Mark." She said as she made her way towards the kitchen.
Every morning the Baker's kitchen was a mess. 12 kids doing many jobs. Kyle and Nigel on feeding Gunner duty.
"Here you go, Gunner."
"You hungry, boy?"
The twins dumped the whole bag of food into the dog's bowl. The younger kids were on lunches. They would prepare all of their lunches for the day while the older kids helped make breakfast. Abby joined in on helping butter toast and pouring Orange Juice into the glasses. Charlie helped Tom prepare the eggs for everyone, then came Lorraine strolling in late to help as always. Abby rolled her eyes at Lorraine.
"Look, l am totally aware that this family doesn't value self-presentation in the same obsessive way that l do."
All the kids rolled their eyes including Abby.
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"Fine. Whatever. But one of my life goals aside from being, like, a fashion guru... is to indicate to the local community that the Baker family actually owns a bar of soap. So, as self-appointed in-house rep of style and hygiene... l think l should be allotted at least five extra minutes in front of the mirror." She smiled finishing her sentence.
Tom was too overwhelmed making the eggs to care.
"Three."
"Done."
She pointed at him.
"Now help your sister butter the toast." Tom said moving the eggs around in the skillet.
"Great job Barbie, now I have less time to get ready." Abby scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"At least one of us will look good."
"Lorraine, Abby. It's too early to start this." Mom said coming into the kitchen with her planner in hand.
"Abby, you have hockey practice, so if you could get a ride home from Zac that would be amazing."
"Sarah, your suspension from lacrosse for excessive force has been lifted. So you're going today."
Sarah cheered with her little fist in the air movement.
"Henry, you have band practice, all right? l cleaned your clarinet. Please don't play with food in your mouth again."
He stopped shoving the sandwich into his mouth while holding his clarinet.
"Kim and Jessica, your teacher called and has made a request that you do not correct her in front of the class."
The twins shrugged their shoulders going back to what they were doing.
"Mike, you have show-and-tell today. And, please, honey, remember that body parts do not count."
Mike smirked, remembering back to what he did last time. The look on Abby's face was priceless.
"Kyle and Nigel, you have a dentist's appointment. You're goin' to work with Dad."
The youngest boys ran over to Tom and started shouting at him.
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"And we're shooting our Christmas card today." Tom shouted at the kids, "What time's Nora coming over?"
"Uh, she may not make it." Kate said, showing him Nora's email.
"She hardly ever comes home since she started dating that doorknob." Sarah shouted.
All the kids agreed with her.
"He's not a doorknob."
"The man irons his jeans, Mom."
"Yeah, that's weird.
"Never mind. l'll shoot it without her. l'll Photoshop her in." Tom said.
"Honey, could you take 10 pounds off me with that Photoshop thing?
"Can l be Photoshopped in?" Sarah asked.
"Wait. lf Sarah's bein' Photoshopped in then l'm definitely gonna get Photoshopped in."
"Why don't we all be–"
"Nobody gets Photoshopped in but Nora. Everybody be here by 4."
"Why do we always do our Christmas cards in May anyway?" Abby asked.
"Because the earlier we get it done, the bigger discount we get at the printer."
