His Heart's Mistress (Book 1 in His Heart's Series)

Chapter 16

Ally

"Tell me. Are you and my son really okay? Have you told him the truth?"

"We're okay mom," I lied. "He's really helping me. And no he doesn't know the truth," I said.

"Oh sweetheart. Don't you think it's time for him to finally hear the truth from you?" She asked and a part of me tells me that she's right, but a bigger part of me knows that if I do, Adam will not only be devastated. He'll be destroyed like I was.

"I'm going to need you to trust me. Trust me when I say that it's better that he doesn't know," I said, emotion clogging my throat.

I took a deep breath to try to hold back my emotions. "I know how hard it must have been for you to keep the truth from Adam. And I know it's even harder to watch him hurting, but it was better that way. It was better for him not to know."

She sighed and nodded. "I know sweet girl. I understood your decision and I know that it was for Adam's sake and that is why I kept quiet. It wasn't just Adam who was hurting. You were hurting too. Maybe even more," she took a deep breath before she continued. She placed her hand in mine and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Ally, I know that there are some things that you are not telling me, and I won't ask you or force you to tell me. I trust you, honey. I trust that you have a reason for continuing on keeping the truth from my son."

"Thanks, mom."

"I also know that there's  something more that you are not telling me with regards to what's really going on between you and Adam, and I won't even ask because I know that neither of you will tell me the truth. I just need to know one thing. Are you okay?"

Her question brought tears to my eyes.

"Oh sweetheart," she said and hugged me to her. "Shh... It's my son isn't it? You still love him?"

I pulled back. "Please. Don't say anything to him. Yes, I still love him. I never stopped. But this is not just about Adam. I know how much I've hurt him and saying sorry will never be enough. I don't deserve his forgiveness."

"Oh honey, you're wrong."

I shook my head fiercely. "It doesn't matter."

Linda blew out a big breath. "Oh alright. I will let you two figure it out for yourselves. But for what it's worth. I believe he still loves you," she said.

You're wrong, mom. He doesn't love me. He hates me for what I did to him. Besides he can't love me.

He just can't...

"I'm not here to stay," I said.

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "I don't understand."

"It's complicated and Adam and I, we are complicated. We can't just go back to the way things were. I said a lot of awful things to him and apologizing to him is not enough. He'll want an explanation. An explanation that I can't give to him. I know that it's hard to understand, but it just has to be this way. What Adam and I had is over."

"Ally..."

"Mom, please," I pleaded with her. "Please don't ask me why, because I can't tell you."

She nodded and pulled me into her arms.

"What's going on?" I heard Adam asked as he joined us.

We pulled apart.

"Oh... Uh..."

"What's wrong? Why are you guys crying?" He asked as he looked at us.

"Uhm..." I started to say. "I was just telling your mom that seeing her again made me miss my own mom," I lied. He looked at me skeptically. He moved his gaze to his mom and raised his eyebrows in question.