His Heart's Mistress (Book 1 in His Heart's Series)

Chapter 30

Ally

I rushed towards Adam and dropped to my knees and held him in my arms.

We cried as we held onto each other.

We stayed like that for a long time.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, sorry," I cried out. "I'm really, really sorry," I said as I sobbed uncontrollably, making it hard for me to breathe.

"Shh..." Adam said as he kissed me lightly on my lips.

He wiped away my tears as he cupped my face in his hands.

"I'm sorry, I didn't protect our baby. It was my fault," I broke off.

He shook his head fiercely. "Don't say that. Don't. It wasn't your fault. Cortalez... He's the one who killed our baby."

"It was my fault," I continued to cry out.

"Stop it. Stop," he said. "Look at me," he said as he tilted my head up so he can look into my eyes. "It wasn't your fault. I don't blame you," his voice cracked. "I'm the one who's sorry. I'm so fucking sorry for the way I treated you," he broke off in a sob. "I'm so fucking sorry for the things I said to you For making you feel like a whore... For making you my mistress."

"Shh," I said as I lifted a finger up to his lips to silence him. "Don't. Don't say sorry."

"I hurt you," he said, his voice laced with so much pain and remorse.

"I was hurt," I admitted. "But it wasn't because of the things you said and did. I was hurt, because I made you into someone you're not. I made you angry because I hurt you and you lashed out. But I know you never meant any of the things you said to me, because I know your heart," I said as I lifted my hand up I his heart. "But I have to admit, for a while I forgot that; but then every time you held me in your arms... When I saw the worry on your face when Elizabeth accosted me, I saw the Adam I fell in love with. I saw the real you. The one who was buried by pain and anger. And the thing is, every time you turned me away with your words and actions, I knew that you were hurting yourself more than you were hurting me," I said through my tears.

"How could you forgive me?" He asked brokenly.

"Because I have nothing to forgive you for."

"I was cruel..." He broke off.

I shook my head. "No. They were empty words. Said by a man who was hurting. You tried to hurt me, but you ended up hurting yourself instead."

"I love you."

"I know you do. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm so damn sorry, I keep hurting you," I cried out.

"You should have told me the truth sooner," he said.

"A part of me knew that it was wrong to keep things from you, but when I think about how it will destroy you, I couldn't do it. I wanted to spare you from the pain I felt from losing our child. I've only known about our baby for less than a day before he was taken from me, but I loved our baby already. And by that time, our baby was gone and telling you seemed pointless. I would only cause you what I believed was unnecessary pain."

He nodded in understanding.

"I'm sorry Adam. I only did what I thought was right at the time."

"I understand your reasons. You've been through a lot. Jesus, you were only eighteen. On top of that, you were alone."

"I had Carly, and I had you. Here," I said pointing to my heart. "You were always in my heart. Loving you is what saved me."

He kissed me tenderly. "I want to know everything. Please," he said.