Bitter sweet affair

Chapter 71 - Guilt

AMELIA...
All while I had lunch; I only had one thing in mind. I wished I could turn back the hands of time. if only wishes were horses.

I walked into the hallway and spotted Andre and Mason talking. I had instant goosebumps. Seeing them together was a disaster waiting to happen. Andre glanced in my direction and grinned.
"Mason, I think Amelia has something to say about what happened at the runway," Andre said pointing in my direction.
What was he doing? What was I gonna say?

Mason stared at me, expecting some kind of answer. I gulped and moved closer to them.
"What were you gonna tell me regarding the runway?" he innocently asked.
"Er, I- what happened... Is um -
My words failed me, I was a nervous wreck. I wanted the ground to open wild and swallow me, right now.

"What's wrong Amelia? Is it that hard to say?" Andre said teasingly. I wanted to slap off that look on his face.
"Mason, she was supposed to tell you that we got some sponsorship at the end of the show," Andre said.
Pheww, I thought he was gonna make me talk in front of Mason.

"That's amazing. Why couldn't you just say that, Amy?"
"Sorry. I just didn't know what exactly Mr. Andre meant. If only he'd been a little clear" I said glaring at him.
Andre walked off and I wanted to go after him to confront him but Mason held me back.

He held both my hands and stared into my eyes. I couldn't hold his gaze, I felt like my eyes would betray me and spill everything that was bothering me.
"You can't even look me straight in the eye." he sighed.
"I guess I hurt you. I'm sorry"
"No, I'm sorry. You didn't hurt me, I hurt you and I'm the one to apologize. I can't look you in the eye because of guilt" I stared at the floor, and I felt his palm brush my cheeks gently.

"We seem distant. Let's go on a date tonight; we haven't gone on a proper date yet and I'd like to compensate for all the times we were apart"
It was a good idea, I get to focus on him all through the night and push my thoughts aside.

"Do you have something planned, already?" I asked.
"Leave that to me" he smiled and kissed my forehead before walking away.

"What was that? What crap are you trying to pull?" I said barging into his office.
"Did I awaken your guilt? Right, you should feel guilty. After all, you did something naughty" he chuckled.
"Don't cross the line more than you already have," I said and walked off, he wasn't going to listen but I had to buy myself time to tell Mason myself. It would hurt less if he heard it from me than Andre.

...
I pulled Mason into the storage room, which had no cameras. I locked the door behind us.
I pushed him to the wall and kissed him. I wanted to forget everything but the memories from the previous night were fresh. I undid his first two buttons, placed his hands on my hips, and kissed him again.

I wanted him so close to me that I couldn't breathe or think. He stopped me.
"Amy, are you okay?" He asked seeing me panting.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I tried to kiss him but he stopped me.
"Hey, I don't think we should rush things. I think we should just take things slow, don't you think? Are you even ready for this?" He asked.

"Yes, I'm ready," I said kissing him again but he pulled away.
"Amy-
"Don't you want this?" I said raising my voice.
"No. Not now, not in a place like this. What are we even doing here?" He said face-palming himself. He had a look of disappointment in his eyes.

"Amy"
"I'm sorry, just forget it"
"Amy, what's going on with you?"
"Nothing, I'm fine," I said trying to keep my emotions in check.
"Amy, I know something's bothering you. You know you can talk to me right?"
"You clearly don't want me. I said I'm fine"
"I know you're not. Talk to me"
"I'm in this mess because of you, if you hadn't stood me up... Nevermind," I said unlocking the door.

"Amy, aren't you overreacting? I already apologized for not being there. And what's this mess you're in?"
"I'm overreacting? Just forget all that I said. I'm leaving"
"Amy, how can I forget? And besides, we have a date tonight remember?"
"I'm not interested. You can keep yourself company tonight."
"Don't be difficult Amy. I already made plans" he said running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Mason, I don't want to have this conversation anymore. It's suffocating" I said as a tear fell on my cheek. I wiped it off and gained composure.
"At least let me drop you home"
"I'm fine. I'll get myself a cab"
I said and walked away. I'd mentally prepared myself for our date but it was of no use.

How could I be so shameless?
Mason had done nothing but love a broken woman like me. I would only hurt him if we stayed together... I needed to make a decision, one that would ensure he doesn't get hurt any further by me.