Bitter sweet affair

Chapter 86 - Trauma...

ANDRE...
I stormed into the house shutting the door with full force that It echoed through the hallways. Unable to control the anger boiling in the pit of my stomach, I smashed everything in plain sight. The whole house was a mess, I was just glad Julie, Ryan, and Gregor were away for a week. I walked straight to my basement and crouched beside the crate. I cried my eyes out remembering what had just happened.

**An hour ago**
After spending that one hour with Amelia at the hospital I knew I had to make things right, I knew I had to stay true to my feelings. I needed to tell her about my undying love for her even if she hates me. Yes, I'll do just that.

I grabbed my car keys and left for the hospital. I didn't know exactly the ward her mom was at or where Amelia could be. I decided to ask the receptionist where Mrs.Neil was, they asked if I was family and I lied that I was. I knew they wouldn't give me the information If I didn't.

I stood outside her ward when I figured Amelia wasn't there.
"Andre?" I'd heard her call to me. She was standing right next to Mason and they were holding hands.
Had they gotten back together while I was away?
The thought alone made me think I was late yet again.

Next thing I knew Mason was proposing to Amelia. I wanted to disappear at that very moment, dread washing over me at the thought of her saying yes to him.

She was quiet for a while, she met my gaze and stared back at Mason. I watched her slowly stretch out her left hand to him.
"Yes! Of course, I will" she screamed with a smile plastered on her face. I took a step back, I couldn't believe it. Mason proceeded to slip the ring on her ring finger.
"It's beautiful" she smiled hugging him.

He smirked at me, before placing a kiss on her lips. I wanted to punch him in the face so badly. The scene before me was a tragedy. Amelia was going to be married to Mason soon. They both squealed and smiled like I wasn't there. It was all too much for me. I wished it was a nightmare that I would wake up from but I knew better. Amelia had made her choice.

...
I barged into the therapist's office with the crate in my hands.
"Mr. Andre we don't have a session today," she said shocked at my sudden intrusion but I didn't care. I needed to talk to someone before I went insane or do something crazy.
I emptied the crate on the floor and threw the crate across the room knocking over a vase. She seemed startled, she looked scared.
I bet she thought I was a danger too.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'll pay for the damages. I'm sorry" I chanted covering my face with both hands. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I lowered my hands and it was my therapist smiling at me. Her smile made me cry, reminding me of my mom. I'd missed my mom so much, she was my rock. I've pretended for six years now that I didn't miss them one bit.

"It's alright to cry, let it all out," she said patting my shoulder.

I felt embarrassed after balling my eyes out for ten minutes straight. She handed me a tissue and I wiped my eyes.
"These are letters. These are letters from Nora, dated 20 years ago" she said grabbing a letter from the floor.
"I'm sorry. I know you're not ready to open up about your trauma and I understand it's hard. I've been there too. I was abused at a young age, I was traumatized for a long time. I wanted to die, everyone whispered and gossiped about me everywhere I went. She saved me; my therapist. She saved me from taking my own life and helped me get over my trauma which I can talk about without breaking down. It's why I became a therapist; so I could save someone too" she said with a smile.

"She was my best friend's sister and my favorite person," I said.
She looked a bit confused.
"Nora," I said sniffing. I haven't spoken about her with anyone yet. Except for her brother but it was a long time ago.

"She was a lively girl, kind, cheerful, smart, and cute" I chuckled remembering what she looked like.
"She would always joke about getting married to me in front of her brother to piss him off. At a point I didn't want it to be a joke, I wanted a future with her in it. Those letters were the last letters we exchanged before she died. It was all my fault" my voice trailed off as I struggled to stop the tears.

"How did she die?"
"In the most brutal way possible. She didn't deserve to die"
"If only I hadn't met her that day. She'd still be alive."

**Twenty years ago**
Our driver was running late and I was tired of waiting. I decided to walk home when I saw Nora. She was sitting outside the school gate.
"Nora? Why are you still here? Didn't Mason take you home already?" I asked her.
Mason had left half an hour ago but I had to stay behind and wait for the driver to pick me up.

"No. He told me to wait for him and that he'll be back soon" she sobbed.
"Don't cry. I won't get married to a crybaby" I laughed and she wiped her tears getting up on her feet.
"I'll walk you home"
We walked down the street and talked but then a black van parked beside us. Before we knew what was going on they grabbed us into the van, sedating us.

When I woke up we were in a strange building and Nora was being beaten.
"Nora!! Let her go" I screamed at the men holding her.
"If you don't want your sister to die, give us your parents' number"
"She doesn't know anything, let her go!!" I Yelled crying. They'd mistaken her for my sister.

I didn't know my parents' number either but I knew the home landline number.
"I'll tell you. Please just let her go"
The men seemed convinced and pushed her to the floor. She scrapped her knee and she was in tears.
"Nora" I called to her but I was immediately dragged out.
I gave them my home number and they let me stay with Nora.

"Andre, I'm scared. Are we going to die?" she cried. She was scared.
"No, we're not going to die," I said trying to calm her down. I just hoped my parents would pick up the landline and save us.
"Hey, kid. Did you think we were joking? You think you can fool us. Well, you're going to pay a hefty price" one of the thugs said and grabbed Nora.

"No! Let her go!" I said as they pointed a gun at her forehead.
"Andre" she cried.
I tried to untie myself but I heard a gunshot.
Nora fell to the ground, laying in her pool of blood.
"Nora!!" I cried.

I managed to untie myself and move to where she was. The sirens of the police car could be heard. The thugs panicked and ran, but were caught by the cops. I'd never been the same since then. I developed insomnia and took sleeping pills to sleep. I remembered everything like it was yesterday.

...
"Seeing someone you cherished die before your eyes must have been traumatic"
"You can't imagine. I developed a split personality and hurt everyone around me. I caused harm to everyone who ever cared for me. And I regret it"
I couldn't love or care for anyone without thinking they'd leave me behind in pain.

"You've been through a lot alone. You carried this burden for so many years."
"Can you please help me? Help me get better" I said grabbing her hands.
"I've lost so much. My wife, my daughter, my friends, my parents... Please" I pleaded with her.

"I'll help you, but you have to be willing to forgive yourself. You resent yourself so much and I can't help you if you hold a grudge against yourself."

How was I gonna forgive myself?
How can I even think I need forgiveness?