Married
Lola still wanted to push the wedding, even though I've already stated I'm against it. Lola has always been like that, kahit kay kuya. She's always tended to control us and meddle with our lives.
Ang sinasabi sa'min ni mama na baka raw naguguilty lang si lola because she has never been a good mother to our papa, kaya naman sinusubukan niyang magpaka-lola sa'ming dalawa ni kuya. Kaso nga lang sumosobra siya.
I get it. I understand where our Lola's coming from, that when you're really in the grieving stage, somehow you behave negatively; the outcome you wanted becomes negative to someone, but Lola also needs to understand that we're already grown up; we're already living our own lives; we can now make decisions on our own, and being a grandmother to us doesn't necessarily have to control us.
Alam ko namang sinusubukan ni lola. Isang malalim na pagbuntong-hininga ang aking pinakawalan. Hindi ko napansin ang presensya ng aking kuya. Actually, kakauwi lang nila kagabi. Kasama niya ang kaniyang asawa, at ang anak nilang si Riley, pati na rin ang isa pa nilang anak na si Ambrose.
"You don't have to force yourself, Stella. Kung gusto mo, I'll talk to Lola..."
Umiling ako sa kaniya at tipid na ngumiti. "Wag na kuya, okay lang. Nakapag-usap na rin naman kami ni Gio. We both agree to this wedding, and we also both agree to have a divorce after a year."
"Besides, mukha namang mabait si Gio," sabi ko pa.
Kuya sighed, and he really looked worried to me. I bit my bottom lip and looked down. I played with my fingers before I managed to speak again.
"You know, Kuya. I've always been so insecure around you because you're everyone's favorite. Alam ko kahit sabihin ni mama na... pantay ang pagmamahal niya sa'ting dalawa. Nararamdaman ko, I feel how much she's fond of you—maybe because you look so much like our papa?"
"Ganoon din si lola kahit hindi nila sabihin, nararamdaman ko, and I was so insecure because of that." Nag angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya at tipid na ngumiti. "I felt so little, and the fact that I never had the chance to see our papa is what makes me insecure towards you more," dagdag ko pa.
"Stella..."
Umiling ako sa kaniya. "Kuya, hindi naman ako galit sa'yo. Maybe I was a brat before, but now I'm a grown woman, a mother... I now understand that you've always been there for us... you've always been so protective of me and of mama... you've tried so hard to become a father figure to me... you've been taking care of our mama, and along the way I realized instead of envying you, I should've been more thankful to you because I have the best brother..." bahagya pa kong tumawa, bago nagseryoso. "I have the most selfless brother; we have no idea that you were also suffering; how insensitive of me to think I was the only one who's hurting; I never thought of how you feel; your emotions; and I'm sorry for being like that, kuya."
"Stella, kapatid kita. Kahit ano pang mangyari, palagi akong nandito para sa'yo. Magkaroon man ako ng panibagong pamilya, pamilya mo pa rin ako."
Maluha-luha kong niyakap si kuya. Naramdaman ko ang banayad niyang pagsuklay sa'king buhok, habang yakap ako.
"I'm proud of how much you've grown, Stella. You're a strong woman, and if our papa is still alive, he would've been proud to see how much her daughter had grown; he'll be so proud to have you," and that word—that word that I've always wanted to hear—made me cry like a river.
Humigpit ang kapit ko sa laylayan ng damit ni kuya at mas lalo pa kong humikbi.
"Mama! Look! Riley and I made these amazing paper planes!" bahagya nitong hinampas ang kamay ko. "Mama, look! I'll make this airplane fly to the sky!" saad niya muli at pinalipad ang eroplanong papel.
BINABASA MO ANG
Carrying the Beast Child (Constanzo Brothers 1)
General Fiction[NOT YET EDITED] Stella Kaysyee Gonzales-Vasco grew up longing for her father, who died before she was born. She always looks for a father figure-a father's love and care for someone older than her age. Until it became controllable, it became her o...
