Ring
"Nang manganak ako sa anak natin sobrang nahirapan ako...'' wika ko sa maliit na boses.
"Pinanganak ko siya sa mental hospital. I was still muted, and things were still rough with me. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder..." bumuntong-hininga ko sa'king sarili, bago nagpatuloy ulit sa pagsasalita.
Hindi siya nagsalita. Seryoso lang siya nakikinig sa'kin habang sinusuklay niya ang aking buhok.
"I developed schizophrenia and had post-partum depression... our son needs to be far from me. Si mama ang nag alaga sa anak natin hanggang sa tuluyan akong gumaling at makapagsalita ulit."
"When I finally regained myself, I decided to leave the country. I decided to pursue modeling again. But it was never easy for me. It was never easy for us. There was a time I had been criticized a lot for having a son... there was also a time when paparazzi followed not just me but also our son to his school. There was an incident when Leandro was terrified because of their camera flash, and because of that incident, our son doesn't want to take a picture—he doesn't like cameras because they remind him of paparazzi—and it has never been an easy journey for us. Lisandro.''
Mas lalo akong sumiksik sa kaniyang dibdib. Nandito kami ngayon sa couch. Yakap namin ang isa't isa. Habang ang anak namin ay nanonood ng kaniyang paboritong cartoons. Leandro is watching SpongeBob on the big LED screen. Rinig ko pa ang tawa nito habang nanonood. Tuwang-tuwa siya sa kaniyang pinapanood.
''I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me, and I was also the reason why you were hurting at that time... I'm sorry, and I love you so much... I'm proud of you, baby. You're so strong; you overcame all of that alone. You went through a lot all by yourself. You don't need anyone but me? I do need you... I fucking need you, Stella,'' he whispered weakly into my shoulder.
Umakyat sa'min ang anak namin. Dumagan ito sa'kin at yumakap rin. Mas lalo akong niyakap ni Lisandro. Sumimangot ang anak namin at hinampas ang braso ng kaniyang papa na nakayakap sa'kin ngayon. Pilit niya itong inaalis at sumisiksik sa'kin.
''Papa!'' pagalit nitong sinabi.
''Akin lang si mama mo. Love love ako ni mama mo. Doon ka... hindi ka na love ng mama mo, puro ka spongebob. Ako na ang love ni mama mo... love love ako ni mama mo,'' parang bata niyang sinabi sa anak namin.
Hinayaan ko siyang iyakap ang mga braso ko sa leeg niya. Mas lalong nagalit ang anak namin sa ginawa niya. Pilit nitong inaalis ang braso kong nakayakap sa leeg ng kaniyang papa. Nang hindi niya maalis ay umalis ito sa ibabaw namin. Pinagkrus nito ang kaniyang dalawang braso sa ibabaw ng kaniyang dibdib. Masama ang tingin nito sa'min at nagsimulang umiyak.
''Akin lang si mama ko!'' humihikbi nitong wika.
''Tignan mo, umiyak tuloy. Pinaiyak mo. Alam mo namang baby boy ko yan,'' mariin kong bulong sa kaniya.
''Tsk. Ako naman ang una mong baby.''
Tumayo ako at pinantayan ang anak namin na umiiyak. Yumakap ito sa leeg ko at binaon ang kaniyang mukha sa'king balikat habang humihikbi-hikbi pa rin.
''Love love ko si mama ko! I love you mama kong pretty... ikaw pinaka the best na mama sa buong universe,'' matamis nitong bulong sa'kin.
''How about papa? Love mo rin si papa mo?'' tanong ko sa kaniya.
Sumimangot ang anak namin. "I don't like Papa because he's taking you away from me, but I love him when he's buying me a lot of toys...''
Tumawa ito nang kilitin siya ng kaniyang ama sa kaniyang tagiliran. Nagpababa ito sa'kin at nakipaglaro sa kaniyang papa.
BINABASA MO ANG
Carrying the Beast Child (Constanzo Brothers 1)
Fiction générale[NOT YET EDITED] Stella Kaysyee Gonzales-Vasco grew up longing for her father, who died before she was born. She always looks for a father figure-a father's love and care for someone older than her age. Until it became controllable, it became her o...
