Her Astronaut

✯6✯

When Nova discovered she had ADHD almost 10 years ago, her Aunt Jenn was extremely vigilant in helping her find not just the right psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis but also the best therapist to help her heal from her childhood trauma.

Until the therapist flat-out told her right out, Nova never realized that she had experienced trauma in her life. Being the people pleaser that she naturally was, whenever there was a conflict in her childhood home she learned to internalize all her emotions and thus was unable to properly understand and cope with big emotions.

Once she began to unpack that all, she got worse, not better.

Thankfully Jenn understood that this was normal and par for the course. She unconditionally continued to love Nova no matter what she threw at her as she learned to identify, feel, and validate those emotions she was forced to suppress most of her life. All that on top of her ADHD diagnosis while attending college, was not an easy time for anyone.

But she made it.

The biggest coping tool for Nova was the understanding of how the body reacts when faced with anxiety and trauma. Due to her nature on top of the way she was raised, naturally, her anxiety response was to freeze. This caused her to always shut down emotionally so she could comply with what was going on. Although this made her parents and those around her growing up thinking she was just a good natured-child, it was extremely detrimental to her mental health.

She never properly learned how to cope with and validate her emotional state.

The first part of her therapy was to break this conditioning. Unfortunately, it caused her to tap into the other two responses: fight or flight. As much as it was her goal for her to face that emotion she was feeling, both her therapist and Jenn were okay with fight or flight because it allowed her to finally feel those emotions.

Allowing her to use those two responses was all a part of her journey to healing and learning to cope with emotions. In the end, the ultimate goal was learning how to self-validate how she was feeling.

Nova learned many coping skills that helped her to avoid the fight or flight state but sometimes they were inevitable, especially on days when she pushed herself to her limits.

Like today.

Rodrigo knew that Jenn was truly the only person who experienced that fight state since she was the Nova's safe space. Now almost a year after her passing and Nova still refusing to get therapy to help her grieving process, he was afraid the series of unfortunate events with BTS would cause her to spiral.

This is why he stepped on the gas cursing LA traffic upon getting Soo-young's phone call.

Nova had pushed herself to the limit, was already emotionally vulnerable, and was surrounded by strangers. The last thing she needed was to have a panic attack in the hotel room. Granted it would be bad optics for the company. However, the success of their company was his last priority at the moment.

He promised Cassie Kim to look after Nova after Jenn died. Rodrigo would be damned to fall back on his word now.

Thankfully the artists and their management took full responsibility for the situation and were more than willing to help in any way possible. While masking his worry, he instructed them to return Nova to her room and leave her alone. His heart melted when he heard that the eldest member Jin wasn't eager to leave her. Since his room was connected, Rodrigo agreed to leave the doors unlocked.

What brought levity to the entire situation was the fact that it was painfully obvious that this global idol was crushing on Nova.

In record time he made it to the hotel, through HYBE security, and up to the floor of rooms all while Nova was still passed out. As much as it thrilled him to finally meet the members of BTS, he did his best to stay professional. Reminding himself what Nova always said, "Humans first, artists second."