Inhliziyo Yami Yopha: My Heart Bleeds

Chapter 61

NOMBUSO

Today has been exhausting to say the least and not just physically draining but, emotionally draining as well. I had work to do because it's nearly end of the month and we have suppliers to pay. Kedi offered to do most of the work but I couldn't allow that to happen because it would be unfair on her especially since she's carrying precious cargo.

Yes my son is sick but I, on the other hand are more than capable to do work. So yes, I declined the offer and told her that I do need a distraction so I don't keep on falling into a dark pit of depression. That's something I couldn't allow myself to go through because I have my family depending on me.

I had to sort out all the paperwork that needed to be done in order to make sure that when the time comes, suppliers get paid on time. I asked Kedi if she could hold down the fort by taking care of business on the ground while I do all the paperwork. When I turned my laptop on to start on the work, a lot of emails popped up from the suppliers enquiring on when to expect their payments and if their supplies are still good enough- all the works.

I didn't spend as much time with Thuthuka today since I had a lot to do but I constantly went to his bedroom to check on how he's doing and whether he wanted to use the toilet or not. From what he said, the pain wasn't intense today and so he was able to nibble on some of his favorites. Mam' Gloria also told me that he asked to have cornflakes for breakfast this morning which is something he hadn't been able to digest ever since started chemo.

The smile on my face confirmed how happy I was to hear those news. Knowing that in some way, this chemotherapy is helping him get better gives me hope. But more than anything, seeing him smile gives me the courage to deal with this situation in the best possible way. I am so grateful to be by his side to help him through this tough phase of his life.

My wish is that we all get to look back at this time of his life as a nightmare that we all managed to get out of. That is MY wish. And one thing I've started doing is leaning more into prayer than anything. I have never been a prayer warrior but this situation has pushed me to be half of what a prayer warrior is. This is the only way I can help by pleading to God to help my son get well again.

Bukhosi still goes to daycare, well that only happens when I take him there myself. He has become such a clingy baby towards me and I can't say I don't like it. The thing with him is that he's always preferred to be with his dad so it's understandable I am shocked at how attached he is to me.

The night time baths as well as bed-time stories, are still for him and his father. I can't keep up with that child honestly. In some way I understand that it's the way children operate with them liking you one day and hating you the next. It's just the way they function and there's nothing we can do to change that.

Bonga said he'll take him from the daycare to go out for some fun-time before they come back home. I didn't dispute because I know he's been feeling a bit jealous now that he has to share his son's attention with the mother. Ugh! He can be such a big baby that one and I've learnt to just let him be.

It's still early with the time reading, 17:36 p.m. and I know that Thu is up. He hates not being able to go to school but he has no choice but to rest until the doctor clears him fit enough to go back. We can't take any chances when it comes to him so we do our best to make sure he's comfortable with everything.

He chooses to watch educational programmes when he's alone or if not, anything with animals in it calls his name. I can't even stop him from worrying about that because he says he doesn't want to be left behind by his peers. Yeah neh. I've concluded that he's a little nerd and we all just have to learn to live with it.

I was working in Bonga's office so immediately when I'm done sending out the invoices of the suppliers to Kedi via email, I switch off the PC and close it. Now that I started working from home, I make sure to use my husband's office since it has more space. So I tidy up on the table and go to my room to freshen up before going to hang out with Thu.