NASCAR One Shots

29. Would Anyone Care - WB/AB

Trigger warning: Self harm and talk of Sexual assualt. 

Ember stepped out of the RV looking around before making her way to the garages. She quickly spotted William's garage and hurried over.  He looked up from the car seeing her. "It's about time you decided to join the living, it's time for driver introductions so I have to go. I'll talk to you later." Without a second look at her he left. 

She took her phone out the pocket of her hoodie, sticking her headphones in and turning up the music. She sat on a stack of tires in the corner of the garage letting her head fall back against the wall and closing her eyes. ~ A constant state of depression. A feeling she was all too used to. Ember was adopted by Erin and William Byron about three months ago. She'd be 14 soon and not once did she feel like she was truly loved. Her dark past still plauged in her memory, she'd been adopted and returned so many times she'd lost count. Labeled a problem child. A self harmer and a broken soul.  

She was lost in her own thoughts for a while. When she opened her eyes the car was back in the garage with the crew standing around it. William standing with his hands on his hips talking to his crew chief. She saw him point to her, but had no clue what he was saying, because of the music still blaring through her headphones. She stood up and turned to walk away when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Erin. "Hey Em, were going out to dinner around seven, if you could be ready by then?" She said, more of a question. Ember just shook her head, nodding in agreement.  

The car ride was silent. Ember still had her hedphones, but had the music turned down enough to be able to hear if something was said. As they sat in the both William reached across the table carefully taking one of her earbuds out. "Em, lets put it away and have dinner, please. We'd like to actually get one meal as a family."  She glared at him stuffing her phone and headphones into her hoodie pocket not saying a word. Erin started talking, a very soft wisper, barely audiable. "Emberlynn, we are here for you, we just want to know that you can talk to us about anything, everything, whatever has been bothering you since you got here." She half smiled at her as Ember stared at the table silently shaking her head.  This time it was William speaking, "I'm done with the silent treatment Emberlynn, you've barely said anything to either of us and we're here to help. But we can't do that if we don't know how.  Tell us about you, what you like to do, what you've been through, why your file goes on for years. tell us something, anything." He pleaded looking at Erin and then to Ember.   

She just looked at them, from Erin to William and back to Erin. "You want me to talk? Take me back. Take me back to the fosterhome where you found me, just like the rest of them have." You could hear the break in her voice. "You sit here and pretend like you care, which is more than what I've seen before, but in reality, you're to busy with your own lives for me to bother you with what I'm going through, what I've been through or anything else. You want to help me? Take me back." By now the tears were straming down her face as she stood and walked out of the resturant. She stuck her headphones is once again and started walking. Making it back to the race track, through the RV lot and out to pit lane. She sat on the pit wall. All of her thoughts hitting her at once. Her earliest memories being her mom beating her, a drunken rage, being blamed for her father leaving. CPS taking her in at 4 years old. Moving from home to home because of her constant nightmares and not wanting to behave. She didn't care, she was so lost, confused and alone. When she was 12 she became the victim of sexual assult, her foster brother being the monster that did it. But when she spoke out about the familys biological son, she was punished and taken back to the foster home.  She stood up, now crying again. Looking up at the stars she started talking. Not to anyone in particular, maybe god, whom she had stopped believen in a long time ago. 

Would anyone notice
If tonight I disappeared?
Would anyone chase me
And say the words that I need to hear?

Would anyone want me
If they knew what was inside my head?
Would anyone see me
For the person that I really am?

I won't lie
So hard to hide
I've never felt worthy of love
I would give up
Everything I have
Just to feel good enough

She dropped to her knees pulling out her all to familer razor blade from her back pocket rolling up her hoodie sleeve. 

Would anyone care, would anyone cry
If I finally stepped off of this ledge tonight?
Would anything change, would you all be just fine?
'Cause I need a reason to not throw the fight
It just might save my life

More tears fell as she heard a voice behind her. Jumping up and dropping the blade to the ground. 

If you're dying inside
Sick of being alive
Let me in, let me share in your pain
From my lungs through the dark
Spoken straight from the heart
Let me give you a reason to stay

Would anyone care, would anyone cry
If you finally gave up and turned out the light?
The world would be changed if you left it behind
You can't be replaced, no, tonight is the night
You take back your life

Alex came up from the shadows of a pit box and took her into a tight hug. "Em, I can't imagine what all you have been through, but I promise you, William and Erin care about you. I know right now that's so hard to believe with how hectic their schedule is, but just give them a chance. Open up and talk to them, it will be hard. You cutting is only hurting you more and you have so much to live for baby girl. You have more family then you could ever imagine, you just have to let us help you. You're not alone, okay?" He looked down at her wiping away her tears and giving her a smile. William and Erin came the same way Alex did pulling her into a group hug.  "Ember we're so sorry for pushing you. We just want to help. We love you, we fell in love with you before you ever knew you were being adopted. The agency sent us some of your background, not in detail, and a few pictures. We wanted you. We want you. It's tough to be thrown into this life, but we want a better life for you." William smiled taking her hand in his lifting her arm seeing all of her scars in the lighing. What do you say we start over? We'll go to the RV and get some ice cream and talk.  She just nodded, smiling for the first time in so long. Maybe she was loved.