If You Run (An All Time Low Fan Fiction)

Chapter Thirty-Three

"Another one of these please" I slurred at the barman, shaking my glass above my head 
"I'm not sure that's a good idea" He answered, walking closer and resting against the bar in front of me
"I think he's right" Jack said walking up behind me. I ignored them both and drank the remainder of my drink, my throat felt like it was on fire.  I slid down from the tall stool I was sat on and my legs gave in under me, Jack caught me with both hands and held me up until I regained my balance. 
"Tay?" Jack called, trying to get me to snap out of the trance I was in. I stared over his shoulder not listening to whatever he was saying

I felt my stomach churning and I started to get that horrible sensation in the back of my throat. I pushed past Jack and made for the women's toilets as fast as I possibly could in the state I was in. I reached the stall just in time to aim the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl. The hot liquid burned just as much rushing out of my oesophagus as it did on the way down. After a few moments of sitting on the cold, tiled floor, I started to feel the slightest bit better and I walked, not so steadily, back out into the bar.

I'd had enough of people being nice. People aren't nice to murderers so why should they be nice to me? I thought, after all that's practically what I am.

I deserved to be alone and that's how I felt, like I deserved all the pain rushing through my body and I deserved the unbearable urges I had to harm myself in that moment.

Jack's POV

"Tay, I think we better get you back now" I said, taking her gently by the arm and guiding her out of the front door
"No!" she shouted, shaking me off her violently
"What?" I asked confused and hurt by her tone
"Stop telling me what to do. Stop trying to control me. I can look after myself!" she said angrily, her voice raised
"Tay, you've had too much to drink" 
"Yes, I have had a drink but I still know exactly what I want and that's for you to leave me alone" she said, looking directly into my eyes. I was shocked into silence for a moment
"You don't mean that" I said quietly, not too sure if I was trying to convince her or myself more
"Really?" she asked, not wavering her stare even slightly. 
"Why are you doing this?" I asked, my voice raising now as well
"Because I don't want you in my life! So just leave, find someone better and move on" she said, there were tears in her eyes, there were probably tears in my eyes. I didn't understand what was going on. Why was she doing this? What had I done? 
"Bu-" I started but she cut me off, shouting the loudest she had since this had all started
"Just go" I was fighting a loosing battle. I turned around and walked back into the warmth of the building. 

Tay's POV

"Just go" I shouted as loud as I could manage. He finally stopped trying to ask why and turned around, walking slowly back into the bar.

Although he'd turned around, I could still picture his face, confused, hurt, angry. 

You don't deserve him and he deserves better. It's the only way to get him to leave without you. The voice in my head repeated over and over, restraining me from following him.

I started to walk. My mind was a mess, I didn't quite know where I was or where I was heading but I knew I had to leave. The cold air chilled me to the bone, making my skin prick with goosebumps. My head pounded with every step I took. 

Jack's POV

I walked back through the glass doors. Half of me wanted to be angry; to punch something and lash out at everyone and the other half of me wanted to sit in silence for the next four months, drinking my body weight in alcohol each day. 

I stopped, turned on my heels and half ran back out onto the street. I'd made a promise to a friend that I wouldn't let Tay push me away and I wasn't going to break that promise but more than that I wasn't going to give up without at least trying. 

When I got there, she was gone already. No sign of her anywhere. The only other person on the street was a man dressed in a black trench coat. He looked directly at me and smiled but it wasn't a friendly smile, it was one that made me feel physically sick. There was something about him that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

After a moment I realised what it was, he was the guy who I got a creepy feeling about when we played that show in California. 

It had to be a coincidence, didn't it? It couldn't be the same person. 

He finally broke the stare he was holding and started to walk away. I watched until he got out of sight, turning down an ally way. 

"There you are," Alex said, stepping out behind me
"She's gone" I said turning around
"Where?" he asked, eyebrows scrunching up
"I don't know. I don't know where she is, Alex. I don't know" I repeated running a hand through my hair
"Okay, stay calm and tell me what happened" 
"She was drunk and we came out here then she started shouting about how she never wants to see me again then I started shouting and I walked away and now she's gone and I'm so stupid, I should never have left her" I gushed, searching the street again and again hoping to see her
"Dude, you've got to stay calm. It's going to be okay. I'm going to run back in there and get my phone then we're going to go find her" he said, resting a hand on my shoulder. I nodded and waited while he ran back in then emerged seconds later carrying a jacket in his hand. 

We started off down the road, walking the way the strange man had walked previously. I couldn't help the feeling that he wasn't good news, I shook it off and looked frantically over the deserted streets.