If You Run (An All Time Low Fan Fiction)

Chapter Fifteen

The door to my apartment flew open and I dumped all the bags which were weighing me down on the floor. I switched the lights on and sighed as I looked around the empty room. I was tired after the long overnight flight and all I wanted to do was lie down on the sofa with Jack and watch cartoons or just talk about the stupid things and not have to worry about anything but he was on the other side of the world and I needed to get used to that. That's how it was going to be from then on.

I decided to just get some sleep so leaving all of my bags in a pile by the front door I walked into my bedroom where everything was exactly how I'd left it three weeks earlier. 

When I woke up I felt even worse than when I fell asleep. I was still in the clothes I'd put on in America and I badly needed a shower. Five minutes later, I let the water wash over me as I stood there just thinking about everything. The whole thing felt like one huge, spectacular dream. 

I heaved the large black bag onto my bed and started to unpack and sort through it's contents. It took me a while to go through it all and sort out what needed to be put in the wash and what could go away. The last thing I pulled out made a smile spread across my lips. It was Jack's jacket that he had given to me the first night I met him, I'd almost forgotten about it until then. I pulled it on. It smelt of a mixture of him and that smell you get when you go to the beach.

I looked at the clock, it was almost midnight. My body clock was completely disorientated and I knew there was no point trying to get any sleep so instead I went into the living room and turned on the TV. I was scrolling through twitter while watching Adventure Time 
@HeyTay: Can't sleep. Jet lag's a bitch! 
Seconds later I received a mention
@JackAllTimeLow: @heytay skype?
Then the little box popped up in the corner. I accepted the call and soon enough Jack's face was filling the screen in front of me. 

"Hey!" He beamed at me
"Jackoo" I shouted back
"You're flight go okay?" He asked
"Ehh, crying kids all over the shop. I honestly had to hold back from flicking one of them in the eye or something" he chuckled at what I'd said and I felt my stomach fill with excitement "As well! Stop mentioning me on twitter, I've literally just received about 52 tweets telling me to 'back off'" I told him. He just laughed "What?" I asked.
"Nothing...it's just your nose scrunches up when you're annoyed" I blushed "Sorry about the death threats but what can I say; the bitches all want a piece of me!" He smiled smugly. 
"As if" another American voice shouted to me from thousands of miles away.  Jack moved to the side slightly so I could see Rian stood behind him
"Hi, Ri!" I said 
"Come back to us!" He cried out in a winy voice
"I wish I could!" I told him honestly
"I've gotta go, I'm meeting Cass! But I'll talk to you soon" He said waving
"Bye. Tell Cass I say hi" I waved back. Then it was just Jack and I again, separated by two screens and a huge ocean.
"What time is it in Liverpool?" He asked, I glanced at my watch
"Half past midnight" I told him. I didn't bother to ask what time it was in LA I could see the light streaming in through the window which was shown on the picture. "What you doing today?" I asked
"We've just got back from radio promotion thing for the new record coming out and we've got the rest of the day off so I don't really know what to do"
"If you wan to go somewhere we can do this another time" I said feeling like I was keeping him from something
"I couldn't think of any better way to spend the day"
"That was so cheesy!" I giggled

At 4am I could finally feel myself start to get tired. Reluctantly, I ended the sype call with Jack and crawled into bed. I went through the plan of action for the next day until my eyes closed and I feel into a sleep. 

Subconsciously I knew what was happening. I knew that the dream that haunts me was starting to form like someone was clicking play on a remote. I tried as hard as I could to wake myself up. Just open your damn eyes, I screamed at myself. But it was too late, I had already been transferred to the nightmare state which I begged myself to avoid.

I'm stood in the garden. That night Harry locked me outside. The rain is hammering down on my face mixing in with the tears which stream over my skin. I bang on the door until my fists start to ache. Giving into defeat I slide down onto the floor next to the pool of blood where I'd been thrown down; that's when the thunder starts shorty followed by the lightning. I scrunch my eyes closed in an attempt to block it out, it doesn't work. I scream out as loud as I can but my voice is drowned out by the crashes all around the sky. When I peak out from behind my eye lids I notice that the gate at the bottom of the grass is slightly ajar. Maybe this is my chance, I think. I sprint down, mud splashing up my bare legs. I can hear the heavy foot steps gaining on me but this time I get to the gate. I get through and stumble out onto a grassy field not the road what is really beyond it. Something else is out of place, it's sunny on this side, not a cloud in the sky. I'm still dripping wet but the sun beats down on me. After stopping for a split second to take it in I carry on running in the only direction the grassy ledge faces. I can just about make out a figure in the distance. As I get closer I start to realise who it is; the face I hadn't seen for almost fourteen years. Then I'm meters away, running into his out stretched arms 
"Daddy" I choke out as I rush to him
"Kiddo" He calls back like he always did. 
But as I get to him he vanishes into nothing, leaving me grabbing at the air. Then it hits me, the grassy ledge I'm running along is the edge of a cliff and before I have time to slow down I'm tumbling towards the rocks which lie beneath. I try to scream but no sound will come out. My arms and legs wave wildly as I plummet down, down, down. I can feel the spray from the sea on my face and I know what is coming next.

My eyes shot open, I gasped for air as I tried to remember where I was. I was at home. In bed. I'd had the same dream...again. 

I curled up into a ball as the tears fell. All I wanted was to be able to run fast enough to get to my dad before he disappeared, to hug him like I did when I was a kid; even if it was just in a dream.

"Why can't you wait for me?" I whispered into the darness.