If You Run (An All Time Low Fan Fiction)

Chapter Seventeen

I had that feeling you get when, even though you're not looking, you can tell someone is only center meters away from you. I opened my eyes. I was right.
"Charlie?" I asked
"Hey, Tee-To" he replied. Charlie was Cris' older brother. I was about as close to him as I was to her. I hadn't seen him since before last Christmas when he came through Liverpool to visit Cris on his way to his Girlfriend's parents house. I pulled him into a bear hug, dragging him on top of me in the chair I was still in. 
"How are things, up-chuck?" I asked. Tee-To and Up-Chuck were nicknames we'd given each other when we were younger. Up-Chuck because Charlie once threw up all over me when we were both ill at the same time. The smell still haunts me now.
"Well... I'm engaged!" He smiled down at me as he stood up straight
"No way! Congratulations. You and Clair are perfect together" I beamed
"That's the thing. Clair and I broke up just after Christmas. I'm engaged to a girl called Molly" I felt my face drop. Charlie and Clair had been together for two years, everyone was certain they'd be getting married on day and he was telling me he broke up with her just six months ago and was already due to be married to another woman.
"I didn't see that one coming" I said bluntly
"You'll like her, I'm sure of it!" He laughed "Actually, we're thinking of moving to Liverpool so you'll be seeing a lot of the both of us" I didn't know what to say, it was all a bit much to take in.
"Well I'm glad I'll be seeing you more, I miss hanging out with you"

"Mum and dad are here too" Charlie told me. Then, right on cue, Joanna and Mark appeared from behind the blue curtain carrying paper cups of coffee.
"Mrs Y, Mr Y" I greeted them
"I see you've finally woken up" Joanna laughed, pulling me into a hug
"Oh God. How long was I asleep for?" I asked
"Well we got here two hours ago and you were out like a light lhen" Mark told me. I blushed.
"Have they told you any more about Cris?" I asked anyone who would provide me with an answer. They smiled sadly
"Yes. They've said she's showing signs of kidney disease as well as her heart condition worsening." Joanna said quietly
"Oh" was all I could reply. I looked back at her lying in the hospital bed. A small smile on her lips as she inhaled and exhaled deeply with the help of the machines. 

"I'm sorry. Visiting hours are over" a cold voice called, not sounding sorry at all. We all looked at Cris non of us wanting to be the first to go. 
"One parent can stay due to the severity of her condition but apart from that you all have to leave" the old nurse told us again sternly.
"I'll stay" Joanna told Mark who nodded and walked over to Cris kissed her softly on the forehead then left without speaking a word to anyone else.
"If you want a lift back to the hotel with dad you'll have to go now" Joanna told Charlie
"I think I'll go with Tay. If that's okay with you" He said then turned to me
"Thank you" I replied. He knew I hated being alone when I was sad or worried, he knew what I could do. 

It was starting to turn dark as I drove us back to my apartment. We made our way in and Charlie slumped onto the sofa as I went and got a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Nice place" He said looking around, as I came back.
"Thanks, I don't really like it. It's too boring" I chuckled
"Never were one for normality where you Tee-To" he raised his eyebrows
"Nope!" I said popping the p. I poured two glasses and handed one to Charlie

"So... what happened with you and Clair?" I asked awkwardly
"I don't really know. We just... drifted apart. At one point I really could see myself spending the rest of my life with her but the longer we were together the more I realised how different we are, we wanted completely different things. It was never going to work"
"That sucks"
"I suppose but if that hadn't have happened I would never have met Molly!" he smiled, I didn't say anything. I wanted to ask him if he was sure about this and if he really knew her but I bit my tongue, I could see how happy he was and I didn't want to ruin that for him. I just nodded as if I understood and agreed.

"How was America?" he asked "Cris told me you were going" 
"It was good" I said. I smiled to myself
"I know that look Tee-To!" Charlie sang to me "Who is he?" he added
"I don't know what you mean" I said looking innocent
"Oh please" He laughed not falling for my act
"Okay. His name is Jack but it's nothing. He lives in America and he's in a band and we're just friends and he's probably going to forget about me soon anyway"
"No one can forget you, trust me" he told me looking serious. I smiled at him
"So he's in a band and his name is Jack... what band would that be?" he asked 
"All Time Low" I told him
"As in the All Time Low Cris doesn't stop talking about?"
"The one and only!" after that I told him all about America and everything that had happened since the last time we saw each other and he told me all about his plans to move to Liverpool and all about Molly and how they met. We spoke about when we were kids and laughed about everything we got up to together. 

"What if she doesn't get better?" he asked quietly out of nowhere when we were watching the TV later on
"She will." I replied not looking away from the screen
"But what if she doesn't?" he asked again sounding sad
"I've told you, she will" I said again
"Bu-" I cut him off
"Charlie. Stop. She's strong...she will be fine. She's been ill before and she got better. She IS going to be okay" I told him
"But your dad was strong. He didn't get better!" he said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that" he gushed as soon as he realised what he's said.

I stopped. It felt like everything around me had stopped. I thought. 

After a moment I spoke again. This time I wasn't so sure about what I say saying
"Charlie... she will get better because I need her to. If she goes then I have nothing. I can't think like that because if I do I'm scared of what it will drive me to" my voice started to shake "my dad dying plunged me into a state of darkness which, at the time, I wasn't sure if I'd make it out alive or not but that girl lying in that hospital bed is the reason I'm here today. Again, after Ben, I almost fell into that place but she was there to pick up the pieces. Even the tiniest thought of her not being there one day when I wake up makes me want to disappear back into that blackness but this time never come back. You can't talk like that, you just can't" by the time I'd finished speaking I was crying. Charlie's arms were wrapped around me and he was whispering into my ear
"Shhh.. I'm sorry. She's going to be okay shhh" rocking me back and forth.

In that moment I was transported back to the night Ben broke up with me after three years of being together. Cris was away with school on an over night trip to London. Charlie found me sitting outside at three in the morning in the middle of January. He carried me all the way back to his house where he sat with me as I cried and screamed and shouted and let everything out. The morning after, I woke up in Charlie's bed with his arms around me. I swore him so secrecy about what had happened between us and he has kept that promise to this day. 

As he rocked me slowly I felt my eyes flutter closed. My mind was blank, thank god. That dream was the last thing I would have needed.