If You Run (An All Time Low Fan Fiction)

Chapter Thirty-Four

We had been walking around for about an hour. It was cold, dark and we had no idea where we were.
"I think we need to get some more people to help look, maybe someone who knows where places are" Alex suggested, rubbing his freezing hands together
"Yeah, okay" I replied, only half interested in what he was saying 
"Dammit. My phone's dead" he stated, angrily "Can I use yours?" he asked
"Not got it" I replied looking in the window of every shop or fast food place we passed
"I'll run back then and tell the others, maybe get Charlie to help, he'll know where to look" he said
"Okay. I'm going to stay out"
"Dude I don't want to leave you on your own" he said looking stressed out for the first time that night, his mask of calmness finally slipping away
"I'm not leaving her again, Alex"
"Okay, okay" he said, raising his hands in defeat
"You go get the others and I'll carry on looking, we'll meet back here in two hours" I said, pointing to where we were stood. Alex nodded then ran off in the direction we had come.

I threw my head back, staring up at the clear sky above. I searched my mind for every possibility: the church where Cris' funeral had been held, the cafe she told me she loved, the music shop she'd taken me to. I'd already checked all of them without success.

"Oh my god. Is that Jack Barakat?" I heard a voice squeal behind me
"It can't be, why would he be here?" another voice replied. Not now, I thought. Please not now.
"Excuse me?" the first voice asked a bit louder, directed at me. I turned around
"Oh my god it is" the second, brown haired girl said to herself 
"Hi" the blond girl managed to squeak out. I tried to smile as much as I could but even I could tell it looked fake
"Are you okay?" the brown haired girl asked, looking concerned. I shook my head slowly
"My friend's gone missing and I'm really worried, I can't find her anywhere" I said, my voice cracking slightly "This is her" i said, taking out my ipod and showing them my lock screen of her and me "Have you seen her anywhere tonight?" I asked hopefully. The girl thought hard but shook her head after a moment 
"No, sorry..." she thought for a moment longer, "Do you know where she goes when she wants to leave everything behind? Like a special place just for her. I sounds stupid but some people have one and maybe she'd be there" she offered. 

The roof.

"Thank you so much" I said already starting to run in the direction of Tay's apartment
"I hope you find her" the blond girl shouted after me 

I ran as fast as I could the whole way there, bumping into almost everyone I passed. I stopped outside the doors, oxygen fighting to get into my lungs. The elevator seemed to take forever to rise to the twelfth floor, I tapped my hands against my legs impatiently. The doors slid open and I sprinted to her front door. 

I knocked loudly "Tay?" I shouted and knocked again "Tay are you in there?" still no answer. I continued the ritual until my fists were red and in pain. I let out a sigh, looking around the hall; immediately I made for the door I'd never noticed before, leading to the rooftop. My heart was pounding against my chest by the time I'd reached the top of the stairs but the pounding of my heart stopped when I saw what was happening, it felt like my whole body stopped all together. 

She stood still, frozen. Facing out to the city below, hair being thrown around by the piercing wind. Her shoes lay on the floor where they'd been thrown, her now bare feet sticking out over the ledge of the building.

"Tay" I said quietly and calmly as to not startle her into doing something that would kill both her and myself at the same time. She made no attempt to turn her head or respond but her fists clenched at the side of her body, showing me she had heard. 

"Well isn't this turning out to be quite the drama," a male voice mocked. I turned my head to the left to find the man I'd seen twice before, once at the show in LA and once earlier that night, outside the bar "I'm sorry, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Harry" he said extending his hand toward me. I glared at the man in disgust, ignoring his gesture. He paced the floor between where I was stood and where Tay was frozen to the ledge. "It appears that the prince has arrived just in time to save his fair maiden from the fate which awaits her" he said loudly "However" he said, his tone changing to one of pure evil "this story has twist. In this tale the powerless words of the prince are not enough to save his love. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot undo the damage that the maiden has set upon her own mind, she's in too deep and there's no way of getting her out of the mess she has become." he smiled, enjoying the scene he was creating. 

"But be my guest and give it a try" he said stepping aside and watching with a disturbing sense of enjoyment

"Tay" I said again, stepping closer. Her body tensed up "Please, just listen to me for a little while. I've got something for you. Cris wrote you a letter that she said to give to you when the time was right" I said taking out the white envelope I'd been carrying in my pocket for weeks
"Tay,
        just because I'm gone doesn't mean you're allowed to act as if the world is ending. You've known since you were 13 that this was going to happen at some point and I'm sorry but you had years to come to terms with that. I want, more than anything, for you to be happy. You're my best friend in the whole world; you kept me sane and drove me mental at the same time, you taught me how to live and how to forget about everything else. I will love you forever and always because you're the most important person to me. We've been through so much together and I never want you to feel the pain you felt in that dark time of your life ever again. I want you to remember the good things about me, not spend years mourning my death. I want you to be able to think about me and laugh not cry. I want you to carry on being you and being amazing. I want you to make your mark on the world before it's too late. I want you to love someone with all of your heart. And I want you to live your life and live it for the both of us. Believe in yourself, be happy and become something incredible.
                                            Love always, Cris xxx" her shoulders shook in a way which could only mean she was crying.

"If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have had to write that damn letter anyway" Tay spoke up for the first time sounding angry.
"Non of this is you fault, Tay. Don't you see? It's him" I said pointing to Harry despite the fact she couldn't see the movement "He's spent years trying to get inside your head and make you believe that and now he's finally won" I said, Harry's smile making my blood boil
"Give me a good reason why I should believe you" Tay said, still looking out to the skyline
"Because I love you."I said moving so I was stood next to her but on the ground "I love you so much it hurts. I still get nervous when I kiss you and excited every time I see your face. I've never felt this way about anyone before and to be totally honest it scares me. It scares me that I can actually picture myself settling down with you and starting a family when I thought I'd never do that in my lifetime. I honestly can't imagine my life without you; we could so happy together. But mostly, you should believe me because I know you feel exactly the same" her muscles relaxed but there was no response from her. I did the only thing I could think of, I climbed up on the ledge next to her and took her shaking hand in mine. 

"You jump, I jump." the silence was enough to drive a man insane

"Live together or die together...your choice" and with that she broke down, fell into me and buried her face in my chest.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I love you" she cried even harder as I slowly moved the two of us onto safe ground
"Shh, it's okay" I whispered between the soft kissed I was placing on her head.  

My whole body shook with the fear of what could have happened. The relief of having Tay in my arms again took over and I began to calm slightly. I could feel her heart beating through her chest, almost in time with my own. 

"You're pathetic, both of you" Harry spat. Tay ignored him. 
"We're pathetic? I think we'll let the police decide that: abuse, harassment, driving a girl near to her own suicide" I said back just as venomously. His face dropped, the facade disappeared and he left.

                                                                                      *     *     *

Once Tay had drifted off, head resting on my chest, I used her phone and dialed Alex's number
"Tay?" he answered almost instantly
"It's Jack, she's okay, she's here with me" I said quietly trying not to wake her. I heard Alex shouting the message to the others followed by huge sighs of relief
"What happened?" he asked. I stayed quiet, deciding on what to say "Jack, you there?" he asked after a while
"Yeah sorry, um nothing happened she was in her apartment the entire time" I lied 
"Oh right, no need for the panic then" he chuckled
"Yeah" I laughed back.

We ended the call and I looked down at Tay, fast asleep. I made a promise to myself in that moment to protect and love her until the end of eternity.

I almost lost the love of my life that night and let me tell you this, it was the most horrifying experience in the entire universe.