Chasing After You

15

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Tahimik lang akong kumakain ng almusal habang nakaupo sa kaharap na upuan ko si Cloud. We've been quiet for around 20 minutes already and none of us were talking.

Gusto kong tusukin ang sarili ko ng hawak kong tinidor dahil na rin sa pagiging impulsive ko at dahil hinahayaan ko ang sarili ko na magiba ang pader na binuo ko.

None of these should happen. None of these should be happening, actually.

I let him touch me, kiss me... we almost had sex! Kung hindi lang may kumatok na kasambahay sa amin kagabi habang nasa may entertainment room nila ay baka kung ano na nga ang nangyari sa aming dalawa.

At mas gusto ko ring mainis sa sarili ko dahil may parte sa akin na naiinis sa kasambahay na iyon, when in fact, I should be thanking her.

Mukhang hindi nagiging maganda ang epekto ng pagsama ko na ito kay Cloud. Hindi nagiging malinaw ang isip ko, hindi nagiging maganda ang pagtakbo ng utak ko at pag-iisip ko sa mga bagay-bahay.

"Konti na lang madudurog mo na 'yang plato," basag ni Cloud sa katahimikan sa aming dalawa. I looked at her and felt my cheeks burning when I looked down and I saw the murdered hotdog on my plate.

"If you don't like the food, we can request for something else and–"

"It's fine... I was just... spacing out," pagdadahilan ko na lamang bago kinastigo ang sarili sa isipan dahil sa mga ginagawa ko.

Mas nakikita ni Cloud na naaapektuhan ako dahil sa nagiging reaksyon ko at hindi magandang bagay iyon!

"Are you okay? You've been quiet," he commented while eating.

I shrugged and started eating. "You were quiet, too, and I didn't say anything," sabi ko bago nagpatuloy sa pagkain.

He chuckled and I held the fork tight because I thought his laugh was sexy.

Damn it, Ashanti!

"Well, I am not sure what was my fault, why you aren't talking to me..." he said before reaching for his coffee and leaned on his seat to look at me.

"Nothing," I uttered as I busied myself eating. Mas mainam pang mag focus ako sa pagkain kaysa kausapin si Cloud.

Nawawalan ako ng tiwala sa sarili ko dahil sa nangyayari. Hindi dapat ganito, e. Hindi ko dapat hinahayaan ang sarili ko na basta na lang bumibigay sa kanya.

He's on a mission, and that is to get his revenge on me. Iyon ang plano nitong gawin at hindi ako makakapayag na magtagumpay ito kaya habang maaga pa, dapat ay mabalik ko sa ayos ang isipan ko.

"We can go to the farm later and–"

"I want to go home," I looked at Cloud when I cut him off. Nakita ko ang bahagyang pagkunot ng noo nito habang nakatingin sa akin.

"Excuse me?" inilapag nito ang basong hawak bago tumingin sa akin. "We have a few more days before we go back and–"

"We're done here, right? You talked to the possible partners and had an agreement already. Maaari na akong bumalik sa Manila dahil marami na akong trabahong kailangan na asikasuhin," muling putol ko sa sasabihin niya sa akin.