DEATH

Scar Tissue

I heard footsteps. It was especially clear late at night in the hospital.

My heart couldn't help but speed up. I was hopeless. It has already been ten years, and we have seen each other so many times. Why was I still so nervous whenever I thought about her?

I still felt bewildered when the door violently opened. My Lisa stood outside the door panting, staring straight at me.

We stared at each other.

It had only been half a year. We were just a few meters apart, but many things have changed, and it felt like a lifetime had passed.

I wanted to smile, but my face was too stiff. I couldn't control it well.

I could only stare at her greedily.

She had thinned down by a lot. Some of her bones were visible through her skin. But nevertheless, her eyes were bright. Her gaze shone full of yearning and joy.

I thought she would rush forward to hug me. However, she only stood outside the door, not daring to step forward.

She looked at me unblinkingly, her head full of thoughts as she hesitated to come in.

Then, I realized that she was actually afraid. She was slightly trembling. She looked at me, trying her utmost to read something in my expression.

She was waiting for my response... She actually didn't dare to come over before receiving a clear signal from me...

I laughed. Where was the proud and arrogant Lisa who always had me in her grasp?

I was no longer the same person from half a year ago. Even if I still was, how could I possibly hate or ignore her?

She was firmly rooted in my life, growing on my flesh and fused with my blood. If she was pulled out, I would die along with her.

We have already missed out on so much that it was almost irrecoverable.

Yet, this idiot still had the audacity to feel afraid and hesitant.

Why did she still hesitate at a time like this?

Lisa never did anything that made me satisfied.

What else could I do? I could only submit to fate and take up this responsibility.

Lisa still looked at me with an expression I've never seen before. Her face showed an amount of confusion combined with yearning, grievance, hesitation, and sorrow.

I smiled and opened my arms towards her.

Despite that, she still didn't rush over to my side like I imagined. Instead, she took unsteady steps towards me. As if she had forgotten how to walk, she stumbled over like a penguin.

It was only a few meters of distance, but she took a good amount of time before finally stopping before my bed. She stretched out her hand, wanting to touch me but shrank back again.

My heart ached.

Was she afraid that she wouldn't be able to touch me? That I would disappear into nothingness like before?

I wouldn't. Never again.

I grabbed her hand tightly and pulled it to my neck.

Can you feel it? It's warm with a pulse that is beating for you.

Lisa, I miss you so much.