KOTLC Oneshots Cause Why Not

Memory log

Sophie had forgotten about her memory log.

Oh, stars, her memory log.

Alden had given it to her, what, three years ago? Four? It felt like a lifetime ago. It was a lifetime ago. Several lifetimes, in fact. Kenric, Calla-

No.

Sophie shook herself off. She was going through her bookshelf for a reason. She was going to find all the books about stuff. There had to be something good in here. Especially considering Edaline had just mentioned that the majority of the books in Sophie's room were Jolie's.

And, to be honest, Sophie was getting sick of waiting for the Black Swan to give her answers. Forkle had.... Gone radio silent, for over a week now, and Sophie was starting to worry. But she needed answers, which she wouldn't get if she just stood there watching something from years back. But.

But there was something about that memory log...

She opened a random page, cautiously, and sighed in relief when it was blank. She... Didn't know what she was expecting. She'd flipped to nearly the end of the book, in all honesty. She was surprised there was nothing there, though. That was all.

She could have sworn she stopped using it for a reason, she just didn't remember why.

A gnawing feeling grew in her gut. Wait, she thought, did I stop projecting memories before or after the fire in the forest with Brant?

And she froze.

Because she didn't know.

She didn't know.

The gnawing in her gut clawed its way up her lungs filling them with cement, and suddenly, she can't breathe, because she didn't know-

If she was forgetting this, what else could she be forgetting? What other things were erased? What if she was missing something big? The labored gasps she was taking stopped entirely, and her body racked with sobs.

It was all too much. Everything was relying on HER. Everyone was counting on her, but she couldn't-

She couldn't-

She took another shuddering gasp.

She couldn't let them down.

Frantically, she flipped to the very back, deciding on going from the back to the front. She had to remember. She had to.

Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, she has to-

The first image came out warped. Keefe's terrified face stared back at her. His mom looked sickly interested. Their faces warped, twisting and twisting into a nightmarish Van Gogh- looking thing.

Sophie threw the book across her room. It hit the wall with a loud thump. Sophie hoped, desperately, that no one heard it. She needed a minute to get her head on straight and get through her thoughts in order, she needed to-

Stars. She was doing it again. 

Breathing was hard. Sophie knew that more than anyone, breathing was difficult and it hurt and it was something important, like so much of her life was. She had to soldier through all of the pain because it was important, and it was important because it was hard, and it was hard because it hurt, and it went in circles and circles and circles, all the way down, and Sophie was shaking. Her face buzzed, the same way it always did when she cried, and she took a moment to just. Feel that burn under her skin. Let it set in.

She breathed, feeling the icy cold air hit her lungs, and she waited as it warred with the fire behind her cheeks.

The memory log stayed as a heap on her floor, taunting.

One more try, she had to get it right, she had to-