Dil Sambhal Jaa Zara (MoRan FF) ✔️

Healing (2.1)

■Karan■

The nurse enters the room the moment Monami says "Now it is your turn.."

"Array tum ho yahaan subah nahi dikhi thi toh mujhe laga apni duty se bhaag gayi tum.." the nurse says...

Monami is shocked like she had forgotten about this deal...

"Chalo ab iski shirt utarwao" the nurse tells Monami...

She follows the instruction and the tips of her fingers brush my bare skin sending shivers down my spine.
My skin tingles under the minuscule touch of hers..

Before I could process anything I am bare chested in front of Monami at such a close proximity it makes bile suddenly rise to my throat. I swallow the uncomfortable feeling.

It was normal I have experienced this many times.. in my life being bare chested in front of a female... nothing weird except for the fact that it felt so...

As the feeling settled in she picks up a towel and wets it enough then starts wiping my body. Maybe it was my delusion but I feel like she was ensuring not to touch my bare body. This would be weird for her also because I am not only her patient but also her trainer and here the lines of professionalism were becoming blurry.

She cleans up my body careful not to rub any of the wounds, making sure the towel is appropriately wet, she is applying the right amount of force etc.. she puts in an extra effort to do it just because of the pressure present here.. I know her atleast this much by now..

After she is done the nurse says "Good job. Achha kiya tumne.. jaldi seekh gayi tum.."

Monami gives her a smile in return which is awkward for me to even look at... 

When the nurse leaves Monami lets out a huge sigh relieving herself from the pressure that was there in the room.

I lift my shirt from the bed where Monami had kept it and try to wear it out in order to make things less fiddly but my bandages don't allow me to do so and Iet out a weird groan due to the sharp pain in my body.. 

She rushes towards me grabbing my shirt and due to disbalance ends up touching my nipples ..

Wow this is much more less awkward.

She immediately removes her hand but the touch feels to linger on my chest.. she tries to brush it off with a smile and helps me wear the shirt...

"Should we continue what we were supposed to do..??" 

What were we supposed to do I don't remember but then it suddenly strikes me 

"My nightmares, yes.." I reply trying to push the lingering touch out of my head..

"So when did these nightmares start..??" she throws the most basic question

"After I told you the details."

"What is in these dreams..??"

"Me dying.. I die and meet her. I don't want to unite with her but I am forced to do it.."

"Is it because you told it to me someone who has a similar face and name." I can feel the fumble in her tone even though she is trying to keep it steady...

The reason I didn't want her to know of this was this, the guilt she will put herself in... I didn't want it..

"Karan I asked you something" she speaks after many moments of silence pass..

"No.. I don't think so.. I mean I am not sure but I told you things for you not myself and since it was not for me my conscious must have felt wronged and was not ready to leave the things and memories... while dying she wanted us to runaway and I always thought that may be she will be waiting for me to die and be with her but I don't want to... I want to be wrapped in the flag when I die and then be with someone who never respected that flag is not something I want..and that scares me.."

"Why did you not tell me this earlier ?"

"I didn't tell you about my nightmares because I thought that you will feel guilt of being the reason my nightmares started. I know you will argue with me that no you nothing like this would have happened but now I know you better Monami... you blamed yourself for my condition even though it wasn't you it was just a doppleganger yet you still did.. I didn't want that to happen again.."

"I thought I was you therapist and reading minds was my job.." She chuckles..

Clearing her throat she continues "Karan in all honesty yes I would have felt some guilt ... because despite the fact it wasn't me it was me... Talking about your fear Karan you already suffered this near death experience and people around you managed to save you.. they fought for you... their love is stronger because it is based on truth while and the love which had its base as lie can not and will not be able to beat it.. Are you understanding what I am trying to explain you...??"

"I am getting it.. but it is not that easy you know.."

"I know Karan it is not.. you can't delete people and their memories from your mind.. and memories of a dead person who hurt you pain you even more.. because that person is no more there to be blamed... but Karan we need to replace those bad memories with happy memories.. It will be a journey Karan and promise me starting today you will embark on it.." She pokes out her pinky finger from her right hand .. "Pinky promise.."

I hold her little finger with mine "Pakka waala pinky promise.."

After the serious conversation we shift back to a more general conversation... Sometime later a nurse arrives to give me medicines and Monami receives a phone call...

"Faizi Sir chahate hain main aaj bhi yahi ruk jaaun..."

"Okay" I say normally but there is a flow of different emotions inside me, it is different from yesterday when I was scared that she will find out about my nightmares... I am not sure what it is...

Later I fall asleep and when i wake up in the morning I find Monami gone and Faizi sitting next to me ..

"Janab aaj aapki good morning bahut jaldi ho gayi.. kabhi itni der tak sote nahi dekha aapko.." pointing at the wall clock which has its short hand nearly at 10 and the long hand at 9 ...

It is definitely later than what I am used to waking up at but it feels good and fresh sleeping without a nightmare... I just hope my nights that follow are also like this.

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