Dil Sambhal Jaa Zara (MoRan FF) ✔️

Healing 2.2

●MONAMI●

As soon as I ask Karan to tell me about himself, a nurse enters and I immediately recognize her...

I had completely forgotten about the sponge bath.

I have no way to escape now.

"Array tum ho yahaan subah nahi dikhi thi toh mujhe laga apni duty se bhaag gayi tum.." the nurse says...

I stare at her blank faced not knowing what to do and Karan looks at me like he remembered it.

"Chalo ab iski shirt utarwao" the nurse tells me and a chill rushes down my spine with the fact that I will be sharing the same breathing space with Karan helping him get naked.

Without any choice I follow the instruction and remove his shirt. My fingertips brush with his bare skin and my hands feel numb. I act calm not letting anyone know my racing heart. I pickup the towel, dip it in the bowl of water and then remove the excessive water. I clean his body gliding the towel over it slowly and ensuring that I don't touch his bare body .

I think Karan noticed how I was careful with my hands and I really hope he doesn't try to read anything and ask me questions about it later. It was finally my turn to ask him questions.

I clean up his body carefully remembering the nurse's instructions stepping up a little because if I was doing it I had to do it right not for Karan..

After I am done the nurse says "Good job. Achha kiya tumne.. jaldi seekh gayi tum.." and I smile awkwardly at her.

After she leaves the room I let out a huge sigh which even Karan notices but I don't care I was under tremendous pressure to do it perfect and the thoughts that were running in my mind didn't help me any time to help relieving the pressure.. I need to get rid of this attraction I am starting to develop not only because he is my trainer and patient but also because even if I get is serious it would never get anywhere... he would never get in a relationship at least not with a face that had already given him regrets. I know I am thinking far ahead of myself it might just because he was half naked and I am a woman with hormones.

While I am lost in all these thoughts I hear a groan and it was Karan in pain because he tried to wear his shirt back without any assistance and I rush to grab his shirt but end up touching his nipples... due to disbalance. I try to remove my hand as soon as possible but still feel something touching my palm... The tension in the room which had been released increased... and to brush it off I give him a smile and help him wear his shirt normally...

"Should we continue what we were supposed to do..??" I say in as calm tone as possible.. before he could start a topic or ask me any questions

He doesn't answer immediately and I try to analyze whether I said something wrong and realize this might not be the best possible sentence formation in the situation

"My nightmares, yes.." he replies me as if he was trying to figure out what I said

"So when did these nightmares start..??" I start with a basic question

"After I told you the details." I am shocked at the statement because it was something that was supposed to help him not push him into more agony.

"What is in these dreams..??" I ask curiously...

"Me dying.. I die and meet her. I don't want to unite with her but I am forced to do it.."

"Is it because you told it to me someone who has a similar face and name." I ask keeping my tone constant not ready to hear the answers but ready to hear them..

"Karan I asked you something" I speak when he doesn't answer...

"No.. I don't think so.. I mean I am not sure but I told you things for you not myself and since it was not for me my conscious must have felt wronged and was not ready to leave the things and memories... while dying she wanted us to runaway and I always thought that may be she will be waiting for me to die and be with her but I don't want to... I want to be wrapped in the flag when I die and then be with someone who never respected that flag is not something I want.. and that scares me.." I think him not blaming me was something I needed to hear to comfort myself..

"Why did you not tell me this earlier ?"

"I didn't tell you about my nightmares because I thought that you will feel guilt of being the reason my nightmares started. I know you will argue with me that no you nothing like this would have happened but now I know you better Monami... you blamed yourself for my condition even though it wasn't you it was just a doppleganger yet you still did.. I didn't want that to happen again.."

What he said was exactly what I was doing but he didn't need to know that so I chuckle and say "I thought I was you therapist and reading minds was my job.."

He gives me a side eye you know you are wrong one 

So I clear my throat with all seriousness  "Karan in all honesty yes I would have felt some guilt ... because despite the fact it wasn't me it was me... Talking about your fear Karan you already suffered this near death experience and people around you managed to save you.. they fought for you... their love is stronger because it is based on truth while and the love which had its base as lie can not and will not be able to beat it.. Are you understanding what I am trying to explain you...??"

"I am getting it.. but it is not that easy you know.."

"I know Karan it is not.. you can't delete people and their memories from your mind.. and memories of a dead person who hurt you pain you even more.. because that person is no more there to be blamed... but Karan we need to replace those bad memories with happy memories.. It will be a journey Karan and promise me starting today you will embark on it.." I curl mu fingers leaving only the little finger .. "Pinky promise.."

He holds my hand back with his little finger softly "Pakka waala pinky promise.."

This soft tone and touch of his sends blood rushing in my veins.

We shift to a more general conversation.. after sometime a nurse comes in and my phone rings and the call is from Faizi Sir... 

"Faizi Sir chahate hain main aaj bhi yahi ruk jaaun..." I tell him after conversing with Faizi Sir

"Okay" He says normally not in a scared tone

He falls asleep and I decide to stay awake to keep a check on him.. but sometime later I also fall asleep without my choice...

Faizi Sir wakes me up at 8 am in morning and I realize Karan  still hadn't woken up.. neither did he have a nightmare at night because I would have woken up..

I leave with a satisfaction in my heart that he is healing...