You understand me - Minsung

Chapter 13

"So Minho, how are you feeling since the last time?" His therapist asked as she put her hands on her knees.

"Well..." Minho sighed "College is still as boring" He started

"What about your dancing classes?"

"They're nice... I guess" He responded

He looked so demotivated, she frowned.  

She was getting a bit worried about Minho. He hadn't show any progress in months, he was getting darker.

"My mom is still as stressed about me as she used to, and my dad is still mostly ignoring me, nothing really changed at home" He added. It was obvious how is home situation was affecting him, even though he tried to look as uninterested as he could.

"I see"

"And my friends... It's annoying" Minho said as he looked at the ground

"What is annoying?" She asked as he rose an eyebrow. He usually doesn't really vent about his friends.

"Now most of them are in a relationship, and we all hang out together, I'm friends with their lovers. I'm getting tired of seeing them all lovey dovey, they don't stop rubbing it on my face. And also, now Changbin hangs less around me because he's on dates with Felix" He explained, and you could see the envy on his face.

"But you still see him, right?"

"Yeah..." He said with a sigh "And Chan... I know he knows something is wrong with me. He had been trying for month to get me to open up or just leaving hints on how he is there for me but it makes me embarrassed, I would want him to stop" He said as he frowned painfully.

"Why don't you open up to him?"

"I just don't want to" He simply answered, not wanting to go into details.

"Okay..." She said as she scribbled on the paper that was in front of her "And... what about Jisung?"

"Jisung..." He started, getting deeply into his thoughts for a moment "I still like him a lot"

"How is it going between you two?"

"We hang out a lot, sometimes even just the two of us, and I like it a lot. I just really love being around him..." He said as his expression softened.

"... But?"

"I know he just doesn't reciprocate it" He said and put on a sad smile.

"Doesn't he likes being around you?" 

"He does... It's just that he doesn't love it as much as I do... For me, it's just the peak of how comfortable I can get, for him... it's just a friend encounter that makes him glad you know..." He said with a sigh "And he still have his boyfriend right"

He stared at nothing for a few seconds, thinking deeply.

"It's like... I can't live without him but he can perfectly live without me" He added, an a look of desesperation grew on his face.

"What makes you think that?"

"I just know... I can't explain it" He said, sighing  "And also... I opened up to him"

"Really?" She exclaimed, acutally surprised from that.

She scribbled on her paper again. Minho opening up seems like nothing much, but it is really important. What was the strangest about how Minho was living with his trouble was how ashamed he felt of being sick. He hated pity, he hated reassurance, he just wanted to be free from it.

"It wasn't intentional, he just saw me taking my pills and I kinda had to open up. But, he opened up to me aswell. He told me that he used to be sick too, from de-" He paused, clearing his throat "depression, and that he has anxiety and has a medication too"

"Wow, and how did you react?"

"I was shocked. I would have never guessed. And also... I just think I fell even harder for him"

"Because he is like you?"

"Yeah, something like that. I just think that there is no one in this world that gets me better than him. He just understands me" He added with a small, almost invisible smile.