You understand me - Minsung

Chapter 19

Minho was walking back home from his long and tiring day.

For the whole week, he has been taken care of by Chan and Changbin, who were deadly scared of how Minho was doing.

He thought it was a bit overwhelming, but he was truthfully grateful that they tried their best to make him feel better, by cracking stupid jokes and distracting him as much as they could.

He flinched as he felt someone tapping his shoulder. He turned back angrily, ready to yell at whoever spooked him, but stood frozen as he saw who had scared him.

"Hi" Jisung said, as he looked at Minho shamefully.

Minho didn't answer, he just opened his mouth and his eyes wide.

He brought a hand to his face, wiping his eyes, as if he thought he was dreaming. Jisung giggled at the act.

"Is it okay if we talk?" Jisung muttered

"Y-Yes of course" Minho said, a bit excitedly, as Jisung brought Minho to a bench and they sat there. None of the two were talking for a moment, they had too many things to say and didn't know where to start.

"I'm sorry" They both said at the exact same time. They looked at each other, smiling a bit as they found it funny.

"You can start" Minho said, letting the boy speak.

"Well, I have a bunch of things to say" Jisung said as he cleared his throat and turned a bit to Minho "I want to apologize for my reaction. I was deeply troubled by the breakup, I wasn't feeling well at all and my anxiety kinda brought the worst of me. I don't want to say that the way I acted toward you is legitimized by how I felt, it's not and I know it, I just want to tell you that I shouldn't have done it and I'm truly sorry" Jisung said as he cracked a tiny smile "You're one of my closest friend, and it felt like you were mocking me when I was at my worst, so it enraged me. I know you, I know you would never mock me like that, I just needed a bit of time to get my thoughts clear enough for us to have a clear conversation about it." Jisung added as he looked at the ground.

"I'm far from mad at you Jisung. I don't even think I deserve any of your apologies. You weren't doing good and my reaction was odd, I admit it completely. Your reaction was legit and I'm sorry you thought that you needed to apologize for something dumb I did" Minho corrected

"It is dumb coming from you, but I should have known better from you, I know you wouldn't hurt me purposefully" Jisung explained and Minho smiled.

"Still, we can't think correctly when we're troubled by something, I don't think it's irrational" Minho started, as he turned to Jisung a bit "I would want to apologize too for that. I never meant to mock you, I wasn't smiling because I was happy that you were sad, absolutely not. You helped me through too much and I hurt you when you needed comfort, I'm truly sorry I couldn't bring you the same support you gave me since we know each other."

"It's okay, I know that you would have helped me if I've let you" Jisung answered as he smiled at the boy reassuringly

"Still, I hurt you and let you down, I'm really sorry Ji" Minho added

"It's okay, I'm not mad anymore" Jisung said as he took Minho's hand "Can we be friends again?" He asked, a bit unsure of Minho's reaction

"Of course" Minho said simply "I was waiting for that"

Jisung cracked a big smile as he hugged the older tightly, Minho answered almost immediately by wrapping his arms around the boy. He felt overwhelmed. He had Jisung back, the boy was in his arms, he could smell his perfume again, everything felt so right.

They detached themselves as they started walking again.

"How are you doing now?" Minho asked

"Better. I still have some breakdowns, it's hard to let go of a relationship" Jisung said as his eyes turned a bit darker

"I can imagine" Minho said, not really knowing how to comfort him.

"And seeing him at uni... It's hard you know" He added, pouting

"It's okay, uni is big enough for you two to not cross paths everyday" Minho reassured as he tapped his back lightly.

"Yeah" Jisung said, a smile growing in his face again.

Everything seemed to get back in their place.

The friend group had merged back, they finally started hanging out as a whole, eating at the cafeteria altogether, hanging out at Chan's house with Jeongin joining them. The couples started getting disgustingly close again, making now the single Jisung gag too.

Hyunjin and Seungmin started dating during the time, and Minho got the information pretty late, and was still disgusted by their touchy manners.

Minho and Jisung started getting close again, hanging out just the two of them at parks or cafes.

But something drastically changed.

Even if things went back as they used to, Minho wasn't feeling the same. He started seeing bad things where they weren't any.

He remembers vividly the time he arrived at Chan's house and heard Jisung explaining something Minho made, and saying that the boy was 'weird'. He heard that a lot, but this time it hurt him. He would get really sensitive about things they said, even though no one meant any harm out of it.

He also felt weird getting close again to Jisung. Mostly because they got way more close than they used to. Jisung would always ask the older cuddles and hugs, and Minho loved it, but he overthinked it. He thought that maybe Jisung needed someone to ease his broken heart, and somehow he needed Minho for that. Even if Minho would be ready to give anything to Jisung, he knew he loved the boy more than he loved him, so he was scared to be used by him and his fragile state of mind wasn't helping.

He even talked about it with his therapist.

He explained how out of place he felt, that even Jisung who used to understand him wasn't able to do it anymore. He explained how he thinks that Jisung would never like me as much as he does, and how he started feeling odd around him, as if there was nothing natural left in their relationship even though he loved being around him, he adores Jisung.