You understand me - Minsung

Chapter 18

Minho had a hard time having to realize that Jisung was ignoring him completely.

He tried once to talk to him. He passed by him at college, he called for him, but Jisung didn't answer, he didn't even turn to look at him. He was completely ignored.

After that, Minho didn't try anymore. He was already too weak, he hated himself already too much to try. He simply thought that maybe it was better like that, that maybe Minho didn't deserve to be beside such an amazing person like Jisung and hurt him. He didn't deserve to be around someone who had been nothing but huge help and understanding for him, and the second he could have helped him back, he had hurt him.

He never tried to contact him, he didn't send messages, he prefered looking at him discreetly when they were at University, with the sour taste in his mouth that maybe they could have been happy together.

Minho didn't even realize how his mental health had degraded so badly.

He was self harming on a daily basis, his legs not even the color of his skin anymore. He now had trouble dancing, the pain troubling him. He sometimes had a hard time walking, because he had been too violent on himself the day before. He started numbing, sulking, trying to move less than possible, spending days in his bed, sometimes missing his classes just because he didn't have enough strength to wake up.

As he was walking in the university grounds with Chan and Changbin, Jisung passed by them, as he looked right infront of him, ignoring Minho once again.

Minho sighed shakily at the sight, not able to be bearing with it anymore.

Chan notcied how pained he was. He turned to him, and he put a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Chan spoke in a soft voice

"Mmh" Minho answered, shrugging his shoulders to let Chan's hand fall from it.

"Are you sure?" Chan asked, and that sent Minho into a madness

"Why do you keep asking me that?!" He growled at Chan

"Min..."

"Do I look fucking bad? Should I fucking tell you all the fucked up things that are spiraling in my mind? Is that what you wanna hear?" He continued as tears started prickling in his eyes.

Changbin and Chan stayed silent, completely baffled by the scene unfolding

"I can't-" He was cut off by his own cries. He fell to the ground on his knees, violently sobbing.

Chan and Changbin stood in shock for a second, before falling too, hugging Minho as tightly as they could.

They had never seen Minho crying before, never had they seen him lose his facade. They always knew that something was wrong, but Minho never let himself fail like that.

The boy couldn't stop crying as Changbin carried him, distancing him from the stares he was getting in the corridors and bringing him to a more secluded place where he could cry freely on his friend's shoulders.

After some crying, Minho stopped. He stared at the ground, too ashamed too look at his friend's eyes.

"Minho, you know..." Chan started, scared to trigger him even more

"Mmh?" Minho said, showing that he was listening

"I talked with Jisung... about you"

Minho tensed almost immediately, scared of what kind of things they could have said

"He isn't feeling well from now on. He is trying to get his thoughts clear" Chan told sweetly as he kept on caressing Minho's back.

"I know" Minho stated flatly

"He feels guilty to have lash out on you like that" He added and Minho's head rose a bit "He isn't doing well from being away from you"

"Then why is he continuing?" Minho said as his voice broke at the end of the sentence from all the crying

"Because he thinks that he isn't in the best state of mind right now. He is suffering Min, so anything he could say to you could be irrational. He wants to feel better and have a conversation with you after" Chan explained

"But I'm suffering too" Minho said innocently, and that broke his two friend's hearts.

"We know" Chan said as he hugged him tightly, holding him as if he could break easily.

They stayed like that for a long moment, appreciating the silence and trying to hold their breaking friend as much as they could.

"You know we love you Min, right?" Changbin said, breaking the silence

"I know, and I love you too..." Minho said, engulfing his head in his arms

"We won't let you down. We're helping you from now on, and you have no other choices than to agree" Chan added as they felt how Minho started sobbing again from the trembling shoulders he had.

"Okay" Minho muttered, his voice wavering.

For the next few days, their friend group had broken into half.

Chan and Changbin stayed with Minho as much as they could. Their friend was in pain, and for the first ever, he accepted to show them. Never in a million years would they let him in pain when they knew how he was.

Felix, Hyunjin and Seungmin stayed with Jisung. They weren't mad at Minho, they were actually worried about him, but Jisung needed comfort, and they thought that it would help. They tried to talk to Jisung about how he needed to have a conversation with Minho, but Jisung was terribly scared and didn't feel able to do so.

Also, they kept in contact with Minho, Hyunjin still had classes with him and talked to him through it, they simply thought that the boy was in good hands with Chan and Changbin.