Alice by heart one-shots

I Felt Him Slipping Away

*Hey yall, happy pride!! Sorry it's a short one this time, I'm graduating high school next week and so I've been busy with finals and end of year stuff and I haven't had much time to write*

Alice could feel Alfred slipping away. He was...different now, or perhaps she was different, but something had changed and she felt a million miles from him. Every conversation felt distant, every time she held him felt strange, every time she looked at him she felt such a pitiful longing deep within her soul and yet the longing was pressed against a wall cold and brick. They'd only barely touched, their story had only barely begun, and yet she felt him slipping away. It was a strange feeling, a strange situation. It was like a little part of her own body had left her, like her soul had split. Part of her was left, and part of her was with him, always with him. Without that part of herself that she gave to him was she truly just "herself?" Was she no longer to be "his?" She had promised herself to him, promised to give him her life, her love, her body, her children, she would've given the world to live in a world with him, being his. And now...now she didn't know. Every couple had this happen, of course, the honeymoon phase couldn't last forever, everyone had to grow up and face the music at some point, but Alice thought she would always feel that way about him. She loved him, of course she loved him but at the same time she wondered if they'd really work. She'd wondered it before too, and she'd determined that everything would be fine as long as she took her time and waited for the right moment to confess, and yet what was the right moment? When would she tell him, when COULD she tell him of her love? How she loved him so much that it broke something inside of her, it made her feel physical pain, it made her laugh and cry and scream and smile, it made everything feel so extreme and heightened. The world was physically brighter with him and physically darker without him. He lay in bed asleep next to her and she stroked his hair gently, marveling at the young man beside her. He truly had no idea how she felt, just how much she felt for him. Was he ever going to know? Would he ever figure it out? Would she ever tell him? She didn't know. She didn't know anything anymore. Briefly she'd felt all grown up and like she knew everything there was but now she just felt lost. She was scared and confused and tired, oh so tired. Shakily she leaned down and kissed his face, ever so gentle, as a goodnight. She'd made her choice as she laid down beside him. She was going to love him even if it killed her, because without him she was as good as dead.