I leave the classroom with as much enthusiasm as when I entered. That is very little. I have only had four hours of class so far and I am already exhausted. As I predicted, only two hours out of the four were interesting. The day is still long... William joins his group of friends, and I follow them to the local café. I feel left out. I feel like the others don't know I'm here. When we arrive at the café, we sit down at a big table and James frowns when he finally notices my presence.
-Will? Why did you bring him here?
-I thought he could come with us... you know, he's new so I thought he could stay for lunch with a group.
-Why? So the poor little new guy wouldn't be left alone?
I see William clench his fists and his jaw clenches.
-James...
I feel my eyes burn a little and decide to leave without a glance towards them. I knew the other students would not welcome me with kindness, but I didn't think it would be this violent...
-Hey, new guy ! calls out a voice behind me.
I take a deep breath and continue on my way. I introduced myself in front of the whole class, I have a first name, why do they still have to call me "new guy"? The sound of footsteps comes closer and I am tackled against the wall by James, his black gaze planted in my blue eyes. He stares at me for a few moments before spitting on the floor, right next to me.
-Find yourself another group.
Then he glares at me and goes back into the café. My legs still shaking, I move away as fast as possible from this place I already hate. I hate these students, I hate this school, I hate this city. In that moment I hate my mother for bringing us here. For forcing us to come. With my hands in my jacket pockets, I sniffle and hold back the tears that burn my eyes. A passerby smiles at me so I smile back, politely, my eyes still misty. When I arrive at the school, I make my way through all the students towards the huge refectory. I sit down at a small table of two, facing the wall, hoping that no one will come and disturb me. I take a deep sigh and eat. I glance at my watch and see that it's only 12:20... Class starts again in forty minutes. It's going to be a long time...
-May I? Says a voice behind me.
I turn around and discover a student who must be about my age. I don't know her, but I feel like I've seen her somewhere before.
-May I? she asks after a few moments.
I nod weakly and she stands in front of me with a big smile on her face.
-My name is Anna.
-I'm Louis. I say by way of answer.
While she eats, I can't help but look around to see if James and his group are there. I don't like being in this situation. Footsteps are getting closer and closer, but when I turn around, I see William smiling in my direction. I'm relieved to see him, not his group.
-Hey, Anna! How are you doing? he says, giving her a kiss on her cheek.
-I'm fine, thanks.
William doesn't bother to greet me and whispers something in Anna's ear. The latter throws me a look and goes away, leaving me alone with William, who settles in his place. I look at him but say nothing.
-Listen...
-If you came to apologize, it's useless. I don't know you more than I know them.
-Hey, calm down, all right? I'm the only one willing to help you here... Louis.
A shiver runs through my body and I feel a little warm all of a sudden. I don't know what it's due to... probably my hyper-stress. Yes, that must be it...
-James is the popular one at school, you know? He always has been. He always finds a way to get noticed. The fact that a new student is coming in is just another reason for him to get noticed. I'm sorry it's you.
-And why are you talking to me? You are part of his group, aren't you? Then why did you make me come with you to the café?
-James is my best friend. I asked you to come with us because I know how hard it is to be... alone. Excluded.
-How would you know? You're part of the group, right?
-You said it yourself, you don't know me. You know my name, not my story. Not my past or my life. So I'm here to apologize for him. He doesn't know what he's doing. He is weak but he has created this armor to protect him. He makes others look weaker than him.
I look at him, feeling the tears welling up. Why has William come to apologize? He has nothing to blame himself for, he doesn't even know me.
-That's all I wanted to say to you. Now I'll leave you alone, since that's what you want.
He gets up and leaves the dining hall. I glance at my watch. It's almost one o'clock. Classes are about to start again. I walk out of the dining hall and into the classroom. The words of William are still stuck in my head. And the same question comes again and again in my brain. Why does he want to help me at all?
The five hours of class this afternoon passed strangely enough. I spend every class alone, but I don't mind. I prefer the silence to James' insults. When the end-of-class bell rings, I don't waste a moment to get out of this school. My first day of school is over, and it was a real nightmare. On the way back to Desmond's house, I don't pass anyone, not even a bird. My headphones in my ears, I walk down the dirt road, my hands in my pockets. A few tears roll down my cheeks, but I don't wash them away until I get to the front of the house. When I open the door, my whole world collapses. Desmond is introducing his children to my mother and sister. James and Anna turn to me as one, Anna with a big smile on her lips, and James with murderous envy in his eyes. They are my half brother and sister. I thought that when I got back here, the nightmare would be over. But in reality, this is only the beginning...
