Sitting on the edge of the bed, I sigh. I'm in William's room, book in hand. It's already late, a little after 11 p.m., when William comes out of the bathroom. I turn to him and a smile immediately appears on my normally neutral face. He's wearing navy blue gym shorts and a gray T-shirt that's a little too big. His brown hair is wet and a few strands hide his eyes like a veil in front of his green irises. His dimples appear and a white line between his lips makes its way through. He places his shirt, sweater and suit pants on the chair of his office before ruffling my hair.
-I'm going to go. I whisper.
His smile immediately disappears and I realize he doesn't want me to go. Not now, he doesn't.
-Go where?
-To take a shower.
His smile reappears and I feel relieved. I had no intention of leaving, of going home. I don't feel like it.
-Go on, then.
I get up and smile at him before entering the room. There, I close the door behind me and breathe. When I see my reflection in the mirror in front of me, a smile is pinned on my normally neutral face. A smile. I have to say, it surprises me first... I haven't smiled in years. But today is different. I'm smiling. A smile I owe only to William. But I'd never tell anyone that.
I run a hand through my hair and undress before stepping into the shower. The cold water makes me shiver, but I let it run all over me. I close my eyes, offering my face to the icy drops. When I get out of the shower and get dressed, a few drops fall from my blond locks to the floor.
I look at myself in the mirror. My hair seems darker and my eyes lighter. I look at my face like I've never looked at it before. This time, I try to see how I, so invisible and asocial, could have attracted William. How could he, such a beautiful, perfect being, at one time set his green eyes on me? How did he have the strength and courage to kiss me? How did I kiss him too? Me, fearful as I am! I kissed him, an angel on this planet.
I sigh before taking one last look in the bathroom mirror, then leave the room. In the bedroom, William is sitting at his desk, scribbling something on a sheet of paper. I walk over to him and stop behind the chair. He doesn't move, but stops writing.
My hands go to his shoulders and down his arms. I'd never noticed how muscular his arms were. But now, as my slender, fragile fingers caress the strong muscles of his soft arms, I feel my heart quicken. I close my eyes and my fingers move lower and lower, down to his cold hands. He intertwines our fingers and straightens his head so that it rests against my chest. His damp hair wets my shirt, but I let him. I love to feel the drops fall from his hair onto the fabric until they penetrate the fiber and land on my burning skin. I open my eyes to see him tilt his head a little further back and close his eyes, lips parted. He swallows hard and his eyelids tremble a little.
I admire his smooth face, his fine eyebrows, his long eyelashes that protect his magnificent eyes from a world too horrible, his straight nose, his cheekbones that hollow out his face in an extraordinary way, his brown locks that fall over his forehead, and his pink lips, neither too thin nor too wide, that reveal his white teeth.
I take a deep breath, then lower my head towards him. My heart races, but I pay it no mind. I move my hands up his arms to rest on either side of his angelic face. I let my lips rest on his forehead, then my forehead against his, my eyes closed. I feel his warm breath against my fingers. I feel good like this, our foreheads against each other. Like nothing exists around us. As if the whole world belonged to us.
I lean towards him a little more, until my lips are only a few millimeters from his, open to each other. I feel his sighs quicken against my lips and my heartbeat quickens again. My right hand reaches under his chin and I tilt his head back a little more. Our lips brush against each other, but I don't move. He swallows hard with his head tilted back and I feel his Adam's apple move back and forth against the palm of my hand. I can feel the blood rushing through the arteries of his neck against my fingertips. I can feel the trembling of his lips against mine.
