I'm left alone for a moment, Anna's words running through my head. I can't figure out if she understands. All of it. Or if I'm the one who misunderstands her. I sigh. William joins me quickly and leads me through the crowd. He makes his way, and I follow. The people around don't look at us, nobody pays any attention, they just dance. We reach the kitchen and I slow down. William moves forward and picks up two glasses from a tray on the table, but I stay back. James is there, with a girl, dancing. But he mustn't see me. Not with William, anyway. William comes back to me and hands me one of the two glasses. I frown when I see him take a big sip. His Adam's apple bobs up and down and my eyes remain fixed there.
-What's that? I ask loud enough for him to hear me.
He turns to me with a faint smirk before running a hand through his hair.
-Drink and see! He says, laughing
He says this with his usual nonchalance, then empties the glass in one gulp. I then raise the glass to my lips. The taste is bitter and burns my throat a little. I don't know what it is. I've never drunk alcohol. I put the glass on a tray when William isn't looking.
I look up into the living room. The house has been completely transformed for the occasion. Banners hang all over the house with balloons and confetti. Lost in thought, I don't hear William coming towards me. He's behind me, bringing his mouth close to my ear so I can hear properly.
-Shall we get some fresh air?
I nod and watch him disappear, his silhouette swallowed up in the mass of people. I stand still, not daring to dance, not really knowing what to do. The atmosphere is hot, the air smells of alcohol, people are sweating around me and the music is loud in my ears. I try to extricate myself, to join William, surely already outside in the garden.
When I finally pass through the veranda door, I sigh with relief as I run my hand under my forehead, covered in a thin layer of sweat. I immediately spot William, sitting on a bench and staring up at the sky above him. I sit down next to him and take a deep breath. I feel hot. I've never been to a party.
-Are you okay? He asks with a sigh.
I turn my head towards him and sigh. My head's spinning, I've got a terrible headache, and I'm really hot. If this is what alcohol does, I don't want to do it again.
When I open my mouth, no sound comes out. My throat is both sore and burning, and it's hard to swallow. So I simply nod. William then stands up and takes a small box out of his trouser pocket. I don't see what it is at first, then when he pulls out a lighter, I understand everything. He smokes. William smokes. I don't move, don't say anything. My heart serves itself. I've never understood why people smoke. But he lives his life, does what he wants. I, the new guy, have nothing to impose on him.
He takes out a cigarette and places it between his lips. Normally, I'd find that disgusting, but now I just admire him. His gestures are elegant. He places his hand in front of his cigarette to light it. And when the slug comes out of the lighter, the light spreads across his perfect face. The flame lingers for a few moments in his concentrated eyes. His green eyes. Then he takes a few puffs and puts his head back to blow out the smoke.
Then, he runs his tongue over his lips, and scratches his forehead, the lit cigarette between his fingers. After a few minutes, the smoke reaches me and I cough. William looks at me, an amused smile pinned on his angelic face. He laughs a heartfelt laugh as he moves a little closer to me.
-Haven't you ever smoked? He asks, his voice a little hoarse.
His voice has changed because of the cigarette. But I can't help but find it more beautiful. Deeper.
