The footsteps stop right in front of the door and I stop directly. William gets up and comes towards me without making any noise. The person on the other side of the door knocks three times.
-Will, it's me! Are you there?
My blood runs cold as I recognize James' voice. I swallow hard and feel my heart beating faster and faster. I calm my breathing a little. I already had an anxiety attack today, I don't want it to happen again... I see William lock the door discreetly. He takes me by the shoulders and guides me to the imposing cupboard of the room. He opens the door but I remain as petrified in front of the cupboard when James knocks again at the door. William whispers in my ear.
-I'll go to open it to him. While he's there, stay in the closet. I don't want him to see you here...
I can hardly hear what he is saying, too preoccupied by the proximity of his face. But finally, when he places his hand on my back as if to encourage me to go into the closet, I move forward and sit there. William takes one last look in my direction before closing the closet door and locking me in the world of darkness. I spot the small keyhole in the closet door. I decide to look through it. William opens the door to his room and James immediately walks in, his eyebrows furrowed and his fists clenched.
-What took you so long to open the door? What were you doing?
-I'm sick... I was half asleep, James.
-You don't look very sick to me! You look like you've done something wrong or are hiding something.
He smiles and looks around.
-You're not hiding something from me, are you, Will?
-What would you like me to hide from you, I tell you everything James.
-I don't know, you could... hide a girl, for example?
William runs his hand through his hair and laughs. I feel a chill run through my entire body at the sound.
-But of course! And what else? No, really James, I'm sick. So if you have something important to tell me, go ahead, now is the time. I would like to rest.
-Well... it's about the new guy.
-Louis?
-Yeah, him...
-What's up?
-He wasn't in class this afternoon. You... I don't know, you wouldn't happen to know where he was, would you?
-I think he was in the infirmary when I went there earlier.
-Oh, right...
-Why?
-I don't know... since he came to school, I feel like you've been pulling away from me. Anna told me that you don't spend much time with her anymore either. You know, she really likes you, man. We all like you in my family.
-Yeah, I'm sorry if I've been a little distant lately. It's just... I don't know, I'm thinking about my past a lot right now. I don't really know why.
-So Anna and I were thinking we could have a little party at the house if you want to come... you know you're welcome to come, Will. You are like a brother to me.
-Yes, it could be good.
After answering, William crosses the room to the bed closest to the closet I am in.
-Tomorrow, would that be okay?
-Yeah, I don't think I'll be sick anymore.
James smiles and squats down in front of William. He says something to him that I can't understand. He spoke too fast. But I can see William nodding as he runs a hand through his hair.
-Well, I'll leave you to it, buddy. Get some rest and come back in good shape!
James gives William a wink before closing the door behind him and leaving the room. Instead of getting up, William collapses on the bed gasping desperately. I feel like he forgot I was in the room. So after a while I knock against the wood of the closet doors. William gets up and comes to open me almost immediately. The fresh air of the room makes me feel good. He helps me out of the closet and straightens me up. I am about to speak but he puts his hand directly over my mouth to silence me.
-Wait. He whispers. I'm not sure if he's gone...
I step back a little and he takes his hand away. I feel relieved. He frowns and rushes to the door to lock it. He comes back to me, hesitant. We don't speak. He sits on the bed and crosses his arms, staring at the floor.
I can't help but look at him. I admire his every detail. His green eyes that I could get lost in for hours, his messy hair that looks so good on him, not too short and not too long, his already marked jaw, his adam's apple that goes up and down every time he swallows, his long eyelashes that dance against his skin, and his dimples that appear every now and then. His slender fingers play with each other before he runs a hand through his brown hair. I can't help but look at him... To be in awe of the details that make him him.
His eyebrows are furrowed, seemingly annoyed. But by what? I cough a little before approaching him, my hands frozen and shaking. I sit down next to him and watch his reaction. He doesn't really move, he just blinks and I see a thin tear, similar to a bead of water running against the glass after dew, fall down his smooth cheek.
I don't really know what to do. My heart tells me to take it off. But my brain, on the other hand, is telling me to stay still and indifferent. Why should I care about him? I hardly know him, and I've never been attentive to anyone, associable as I am. Before I had time to think any further, he straightens up a bit with a deep breath and removes the tear that was rolling down his jaw with a flick of his hand. I look at my shoes. I feel his gaze on me.
-I... I'm sorry. He says.
I turn to him and look into his eyes. So green...
-Why?
-For... for cracking up at you. You shouldn't see me like that.
-No, really, it's okay. It... it happens to everyone.
A faint smile then lit up his face and one of his dimples appeared. I smile back.
-I... I should go now. I say.
He nods and stands up. I do the same right after him and we walk next to each other in his room to the wooden door.
-You know... you can come back whenever you want. I mean, if you want to... I don't know, get a book or something.
-I still have the library to visit. I say with a teasing smile.
He smiled at first and then laughed a sincere and deep laugh.
-Yeah, don't worry about that, I'll show you around.
He winks at me and I smile, grateful.
-Thank you. I mean... thanks for helping me today.
-You're welcome Louis. I'd do it again if I had to.
He then takes the key off the door and opens it. The fresh air from the hallway is already filling my lungs and my heart is helping itself a little. I already miss the warmth of the room. This room so peaceful and soothing. Once I'm past the door frame, I turn to him, a faint smile still pinned on my face. He laughs, the door between his smooth palms.
-I'll see you tomorrow. He says
-Yes. See you tomorrow!
After one last look at him and his library, I walk down the hallway and turn right at the end. At the corner of the hallway, I stop and take a deep breath. I hear the sound of a door closing. I collapse to the floor, my back against the cold wall, a silly smile on my face.
