The golden leaves dance on the autumn earth of the path. Hands in my coat pockets, I walk slowly, the wind waltzing my hair in the air. I look at the sky, which is already darkening. I feel tired and exhausted, but I know this is just the beginning. The path to the house allows me to put my thoughts back in place and to breathe a little. To breathe between the afternoon I spent with William and the evening that awaits me with James... I don't know what he whispered in William's ear before leaving his room, but it seemed to touch him.
When I turn the corner to the house, I am suddenly slammed against the low wall and find myself gasping for breath, one arm pinned against my throat, preventing me from swallowing and breathing properly. My assailant has a hood over his head and it's too dark for me to see his face. He pummels me until I am on the ground, gasping for breath. I can see my attacker's black shoes moving quickly away. I stay on the ground for a while, and spit out a trickle of blood. My nose and cheeks hurt. My vision becomes blurred and I collapse on the ground, my cheek against the asphalt of the road.
I feel a jolt and a pressure on my arms. I open my eyes with difficulty, closing them many times before getting used to the light. I feel a hand in mine. I turn my head instantly and discover my sister, her tears falling on my chest. When she notices that I am awake, she collapses on top of me and holds me tightly against her.
-Oh my God, Lou! What happened to you?
I swallow hard and open my pasty mouth to articulate a passable response when a voice I know all too well rises in the room.
-I found him like this on the street. He must have been mugged. Says James
I close my eyes and open them on the white ceiling of the living room. I'm in the house, lying on the couch, and there's no one else in the room but my sister, James and Anna. I sigh. My mom and Desmond don't seem to know... I straighten up a bit into a sitting position and close my eyes for a few moments. I have a huge headache and the world is spinning around me.
-Lou, are you okay?
-Yes, yes, I'm fine. I'll be fine.
My sister supports me as I stand up. My legs are shaking underneath me, and I can feel everyone's eyes on me. Eline and Anna have a worried look on their faces, and James... I could recognize that satisfied, arrogant look a thousand miles away. I know that look all too well...
I'm tired of being me. I'm tired of being the poor little Louis, the new kid, the one who was humiliated in the middle of the schoolyard in elementary and middle school. I've always taken it upon myself, but this is too much. So when I feel I'm getting my balance back, I rush out of the house and run down the dark street.
I wander aimlessly for a long time in the dark streets of the city. The full moon is above me and gives me a weak smile. The stars are bright tonight and light my way through the alleys, like the path of my blood through my veins to my heart. The stars have always fascinated me. The night is the only time I feel good. Where I can feel safe, alone, myself.
I let my steps guide me, trusting them. I don't notice directly where I'm going until I find myself in front of the school gate. I glance towards the dormitory wing and look at the few windows where the light comes through. I continue forward, hesitant. It must have been an hour since I left the house, discovering winding paths I didn't know existed, under the benevolent gaze of the moon. The night sky, unlike the day sky, does not judge me. I can feel free. I can be myself.
I look at the gate with apprehension, not sure how to climb it to get into the school. After a few seconds of hesitation, I rush to the gate and nimbly climb to the top, then climb down the other side, landing gently on the white gravel. My cheeks and sides hurt, but I don't really care. I continue to walk in the gravel of the main courtyard. Even in the dark, I find my way back to the dormitory wing quite easily.
