Locked once more(Book 2)

Chapter 47

It was Derek. I knew his nickname and his voice. He held me with his clothes drenched in water. I let him. Crying into his chest. I had killed his father, in cold blood and he was comforting me. I needed to let him know how truly sorry I was. But I wasn't. And I wasn't sure I wanted to apologize just yet. He had broken up with me and tried to get me and Adrian to get together. Now he was comforting me.

I didn't let go, even though I wanted to. I thought about how it felt to pull the trigger and end it all. I couldn't even be mad at Damien. I was mad at myself. Though my initial thought was to tell Derek how stupid I had been, I didn't say a word. And maybe that was for the best. Knowing I killed him in cold blood would make things awkward for me and maybe for him. Did I need to talk to him, no, but eventually I knew I needed to.

"Princess, it's okay, I'm here," He says. His voice is soothing with every word. The water keeps running dripping down both of our faces as I look up at him, I am standing naked in my shower, with Derek, who is clothed. And his eyes are gentle. I keep staring into him.

"Derek, I- I'm so sorry," I said. He shook his head and grabbed my face with his hands.

"No, you did what I would have done, he was an asshole and a criminal, never apologize," He said. I nod. This changed things for me. I could feel myself leaning more and more toward the side of not giving a shit.

Derek kept looking at me, and something in me just froze up. And the next thing I know, I reach up with my hand, placing it on the back of his head, and bringing him down to me. His face is right at mine as our heads touch. I breathe slowly before moving to my lips with my own. I press them firmly, he doesn't pull away from me, instead, he pulls me closer. He hadn't kissed me like this in months. And I was glad we were kissing.

My body pressed firmly against him He doesn't push me away he only pulls me closer and closer. I loved him, but this was not the time. My mind screamed for help but my heart was in this. My mental health had been changed forever. And something in me snapped. It was as if I had changed instantly.

"I want you," I said, placing my hands on the rem of his shirt. He breathes heavily, putting his arms up. I slip his shirt over his head. He lets me. Kissing him again I undone his belt, and the buttons on his pants.

A few moments later, we were both standing in the shower, no clothes, ready to feel each small moment. He stops me for a moment before looking down at me. His confusion confused me too. I wanted to scream out but I couldn't. This was what it was like to finally break. But with Derek here, maybe I would be okay.

"Jump," He said, I did as he asked. He was ready for me too.

He and I are in the moment. He is holding me while I am moving against him. This was the thing I missed most about us. We were very, in the moment. And honestly, I couldn't be more excited. But again, something was screaming at me. I had just shot someone and now I was having sex with my ex-boyfriend in my shower. I kept thinking something like this was only a fairytale. I was finally having a moment with my ex the one I was in love with and what would happen afterwards.

"Derek," I groan, he kept moving. Not letting me go. Maybe he knew I needed this. Something in him saw the broken part of me that needed him. And he was giving it to me.

"I love you Addison," He says. My heart melts when he says it. I wanted to be mad at him, but I couldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to hate him.

"I love you," I said. We kiss, as we are finishing together. It was as if my entire body had been set on fire. There was a good burning sensation all over me.

We break apart and turn the water off. I was not on pills, we didn't use protection, and the only thing I could do now was pray I didn't get pregnant. Or take a morning-after pill. I had a couple of those lying around. Feeling him though was the best part of my night. And he was not mad at me. But I was. I was changed. And I wanted Derek to know that. I wasn't the same scared woman I was when I first came here. I killed someone, and I was capable of being more.