Way Of Life - H.S & N.H

In My Life, I Love You More

"Harry calm down!" Shay cried, trying to being Harry back towards her. She grabbed his hand and pulled him.

"I can't calm down. We fucked up Shay. I need to find Jeff or someone." He yanked his hand away quickly, much to Shay's surprise.

He left briefly to grab his shoes. Once they were on he opened up his phone and typed out a message to Jeff.

"Gorgeous." Shay mumbled.

Harry ignored her.

"Hey! Don't fucking ignore me! I'm just trying to help you. If you're acting on impulse you're going to do something you'll regret. You need to calm yourself down, get a level head and then find a solution." The anger was evident in Shay's voice but she really was just trying to help him.

"I'm not fucking ignoring you. I'm trying to sort out this mess that we've made for ourselves. Jesus Christ Shay this doesn't look good does it huh? We've disrespected the culture. A culture that I happen to love and this is a safe space for me and now it's been fucking tainted!"

"A mess that we're both in, if you happened to forget! I'm just as much to blame Harry. I more than anyone know that image is everything or whatever the bullshit saying is, but people who matter and people who know you... they know that this would've been a mistake. A stupid, drunken mistake. You are a human being. You along with every other person on this planet make these fucked up mistakes."

The anger inside was bubbling over like a volcano.

"But you know what, save the dramatics for your manager and your team. Go and sort it out on your own. I don't have the energy for this today."

Shay got up from her place on the bed and into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Harry huffed out a breath.
His phone was placed down onto the dresser and he gingerly walked to the door. He knew not to barge in, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Shay..."

"Don't." He heard her muffled voice through the wood but he could sense she was crying.

"I'm a dickhead I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I acted on impulse. You're right. You're always right." He placed both his palms on the door frame and his head against the door.
The coolness of it was helping to calm him.

He could still hear muffled sniffles from the other side. His heart pinched every time.

The words he'd just spoke lingered in the air. A eerie silence falling as both of them stayed in that moment.

A couple of minutes passed without a word being shared. Harry moved away from the door slightly and sighed.

"I fucking love you Shay. More than you'll ever know. I'm not leaving because of this or because of you. Please don't think that because it's bullshit. All of this is utter fucking bullshit, the fact because of who I am things like this spiral out of control and I'm dragging you and the girls down with me. I'm leaving right now to give you some space. To give myself some space also."

After no reply he reluctantly moved further away from the door and quickly out of the room. Out of the door and down the stairs to the lobby.