Chemistry Of Lust

CHAPTER 40

I put on a full length floral dress; yes I am obsessed with flowers. It is light blue in color, not exactly the winter vibe but it suits me so why not. It's velvet so I don't have to worry about the winter but just to be safe I ask Ollie to stuff her oversized bag, which she always carries with herself, with one extra jacket for me.

I know we won't be able to just visit the mall without buying anything so I stash some money in my little glittery clutch along with my phone. As we need to walk on foot, I decide to put on flats instead of heels. I do light winter makeup to go with my look.

I look at my reflection and suddenly, despite looking fairly good a wave of insecurity creeps in my mind. I have never had a problem before with my figure but nowadays it's capturing my mind. What if one day Edward decides to wake up and decide that he wants a girl with a small waist and a perfect figure.

I know he isn't shallow but people change. I personally love the way my curves look and how hot thick thighs are but what if he doesn't think that? Suddenly, the doorbell rings, pulling me out of my thoughts. It must be Ollie.

I take one last look at myself in the mirror before smoothing my dress out, pushing all my insecurities to the back of my mind.

I lift my dress up and slowly walk down the stairs to open the gate. Ollie is looking beautiful, as always, in her black leather dress. If she weren't a cheerleader and a dancer, she sure could be a Goth with how much obsessed she is with the color black.

She has the biggest flower bouquet in her hands and it has all sorts of different colors of flowers including my favorites of course, lavenders, lilies, dianthus, nicotiana, hyacinth, bearded iris, crabapple, alyssum, peony and etc.

She bounces before pulling me into a hug, "Happy 18th to you bitch," she screams and my mother and I laugh at her over excitement. I pull her in and she hands me the flowers, "Here for you, my queen." She follows with a bow.

"Thank you, my princess," I take the flowers with the brightest smile on my face and take a whiff of them. The fragrance of every flower mixed smells like absolute heaven and peace and serenity.

I give them to my mom to preserve them in water so they don't die anytime soon. "Mom, I will see you soon. Bye, love you," I say in a hurry as Ollie takes my hand and pulls me out the door.

I hear my mother's faded, "Bye baby, enjoy," as Ollie slams the door with her free hand.

"Ollie, please let me drive. I haven't driven since you know when," I say with a pout trying my best to convince her. I love driving but since the accident, no one even let me touch the car keys. I can't take it anymore.

Ollie looks at me indecisively before finally giving up at my whining, "Fine, but don't tell Edward or Derek. I will be tortured to death."

I catch the keys she throws my way before agreeing to her proposition. What they don't know can't hurt them. And also, it's not a lie; I am just hiding the truth.

We get in the car and I start the car. I am a little bit anxious, obviously but I have driven a car more than 20 times so, it can't go that bad. Also, I am not alone.

Soon, I accelerate the car and I am thriving. I missed this.

"Did Derek call you?" Ollie asks as she keeps her eyes on her phone. We have visited the mall more than countable times, but she is still paranoid that we might get lost, so she insisted on using GPS.

"Yes, he called me during his lunch break around 3 p.m. for him and 7 a.m. for us. Though I was sleepy so we didn't really talk but he wished me in the most Derek way he could," I said reminiscing his wish. He asked me to be "safe" with Edward today and not get "too lost in the moment". No matter how much of a pain in the ass he was being, I could hear the sadness and guilt in his voice.