Cold Hands, Warm Heart ✧ Minsung ✧

#54

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The next week, Felix and Jisung found themselves feeling lost for different reasons as they had to work together. They greeted each other but they didn't talk and they had grown distant after the party. Felix was still hurting from his unrequited love for Jisung.

At the end of the day, Jisung was feeling guilty but he wanted to try to be friends again, even tough he knew Felix maybe needed sometime. "Felix, can we talk?" Jisung asked tentatively.

Felix was hesitant, but he nodded. "Sure."

"I'm sorry, Felix," Jisung began. "I'm sorry for not loving you... Sometimes I think my life would be easier if I did, but..."

Felix knew that letting go would not be easy. "It's okay," he said, trying to be strong. "I understand."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you want it" Jisung said, "I just miss my best friend," he continued looking at Felix with a pained expression.

Felix nodded again. "I know. You were always there for me, and I appreciate that more than anything. And I know... I know you love him instead of me... I just want you to be happy" That was the true, but, fuck, it hurted so much "I'll always be happy for you."

"You were so good to me," Jisung continued. "That's why I wish I loved you instead. I know that sounds messed up, but you're so perfect and I just want you to know that whoever you find in the future is going to be the luckiest person alive."

Felix managed a small smile, but inside he was hurting. He hugged Jisung tightly, not wanting to let go, and left a kiss on his cheek. "I have to go now. Bye." He managed to not let his voice crack and not a tear fall down.

As he walked away, Felix fought back tears. He knew he wouldn't be able to fix his aching heart so easily, but he also knew that he needed to let Jisung go.

Jisung watched Felix leave, feeling a heavy weight on his chest. He knew he had hurt his friend deeply, and he couldn't help but feel guilty for leading him on. But he also felt a sense of relief that he had finally been honest with him.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to push away the guilt and the sadness. He knew he needed to focus on himself now, and figure out what he wanted in life.

He lit a cig as he walked back to his apartment, he couldn't help but think about Minho. He pulled out the white card with unknown phone number on it, and stared at it for a moment before tucking it back into his pocket.

Jisung went back to his apartment feeling conflicted one more time.

-

Chan was in the living room watching anime when he saw Felix coming home with a sad face one more time. He felt worried for the younger and that was driving him crazy. The worst part was that Felix didn't talk to him anymore, and the distance between them was growing every day.

"Hey Felix-" Chan called as he got up from the couch.

Felix went straight to his bedroom without answering, but Chan followed him. "Felix, please talk to me," he said as he knocked on the younger man's door.

Silence was the only response, but Chan refused to give up. "I know you're hurting, and I want to help you. You don't have to go through this alone," he said. "Felix, you know I'm here, right? Remember that I'll always be here, if you need me, anytime".

All Chan could do was to hear Felix's silent cry again and again, he was tired of seeing his friend being lonely and sad. Chan sighed, feeling frustrated and helpless he went to his own bedroom.

Chan couldn't sleep one more time, he stayed up all night writing lyrics, pouring his feelings out so them couldn't eat him alive. Chan couldn't stop thinking about Felix. He remembered how the younger had helped him through his darkest days, that was 5 years ago and since that day he had never stopped loving him since then.

After some time Chan checked the time, 3 a.m. He sighed and went to sleep even though he wasn't tired at all, at least he had to give it a try. He undressed and laid down, suddenly, he heard a knock on the door, and saw Felix standing there in his silhouette.

"Lix?" Chan's heart skipped a beat as he watched Felix walk towards him, wrapping his arms around him searching for his lips to comfort him one more time.

"I wanna feel you"

In the dark as Chan held Felix's thin waist below him, he didn't mind being used. He looked at the younger's vulnerable face bathed by the moonlight and gently stroked his tear-stained cheek. All he thought was that he loved Felix so much, he loved being the one to comfort him, the one to kiss him, the one to give him pleasure.

"I want it all"

He was happy for the chance to feel the silk touch of his soft skin, tracing his fingers to touch every inch of it with a hunger that never seemed to be sated, from his toe until the last piece of his hair.

He was happy to make the younger spread his legs, and feel the way Felix's legs wrapped around him as he took him made him feel wanted and needed, as if nothing else in the world mattered.

He was happy that he could savor the taste of Felix's lips and his tongue against his own, savoring every kiss as if it were his last.

He was happy he could kiss his neck, leaving hickeys all over it, like he was only made all for him.

He was happy he could hear the soft pleasure moans while he fingered him or the unholy moans he screamed while they're fucking at an insane pace.

He relished in the way Felix moaned and gasped, the sounds driving him to push harder and faster, to take him to new heights of pleasure. Every sound that escaped Felix's lips was like music to Chan's ears, a sweet melody that he never wanted to end.

"F-fuck-, Chan, m-more, I-,I'm-"

He craved everything, he wanted all of them at the same time that night, he needed to hear all the words the younger could say in one night, all night, on repeat, the desire growing, he wanted to feel him in his bones, he wanted to go harder, he wanted to feel harder, he wanted to hit it harder, he wanted to tear into his soul, he wanted it all until there was no breath left and they break apart.

"P... please, Chan aaaaa~"

At least, all he could do was try to enjoy being with the younger as much as he can, before all of that disappeared once again.

-

In the dead of night, a ringing phone jolted awake a person and three cats. Without bothering to check the caller ID, the person answered with a husky, confused voice.

"Hello?" 

"..." There was no response, only a few sad breaths could be heard from the other end of the line.

Realizing the whole situation, Minho's eyes widened in shock. "Ji?" he said.

"I miss you" Jisung replied before abruptly hanging up.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧