Cold Hands, Warm Heart ✧ Minsung ✧

#33

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Felix stormed home in a hurry, he was feeling so sad, his whole body, heart and soul aching 'why?'.

"Felix?" Chan who was watching tv in the living room sees him walking so fast to his bedroom, but he could catch a glimpse of a tear falling from his eye, he immediately runs to him before he can close the door. Chan watched the younger sit on his bed, looking down letting his tears fall on his thighs one after another. He came closer and sat beside him "Felix, please, let me help you".

"It's nothing," Felix responds, shooking his head, but he grips his pants tightly.

"How could it be nothing, if I'm seeing you like this?" Chan asked concerned, he just stayed there looking at him for a few seconds.

"Chan..." Felix's lips tremble as he tries to hold back his tears, in his mind he wanted to tell Chan to go away. He pressed his lips, trying to swallow his sorrow, afraid to be near Chan that maybe he couldn't restrain himself from doing something dumb again in a drunken state.

Chan furrows his eyebrows and touches Felix's back in an attempt to comfort him, but Felix tenses up, so Chan removes his hand. "Lix, I'll be in the living room if you need me, okay?". And he stood up to leave, suddenly he felt Felix holding his hand.

And like this Felix's body betrayed him again, Felix grabs Chan's hand, "Please, STAY," he pleaded.

Chan hugs Felix, who buries his head in Chan's chest and cries harder. Chan can only caress the younger's back in circles waiting for him to stop crying.

"I- I wanted... wanted to confess to him today," Felix said through his sobs.

Chan listens patiently, realizing that Felix is talking about 'Jisung'.

"But all I got was him talking about Minho, all he does, all he says...." Felix continues, his frustration and anger growing.

"And the worst part is that I can't even hate him, because all I can see is Jisung being the happiest".

Chan hearing Felix's words made him love Felix even more, 'he really is precious'.

"But why? WHY? Why does it have to hurt so much..." Felix can't stop crying.

Chan hugged him even harder like he would never let him go "I know how you feel." He just said before thinking and then pressed his lips realizing his own words.

"How would you know?" Felix held the elder's shirt tightly, he was desperately frustrated crying.

Chan gulped, he took a deep breath, and decided to make a bad decision "I know... because I love you, Lix."

Felix is stunned, his heart shattered into pieces with the sudden confession, his eyes wide open pouring tears.

Chan continues, "I have loved you for a long time. I want to see you happy and smiling. It hurts so, so much seeing you like this and not being able to help you. I'm sorry to confess in a moment like this, I just can't hold it anymore. I don't expect you to love me back or for you to answer me, just please let me tell you this now. I love you, Lix.".

Felix felt his heart who was broken shattering into little pieces one by one falling to the ground. His vision was blurry and his body was moving again on its own into Chan's comfort embrace and they kissed again slowly, numb he felt the whole world moving around him. Slowly he could feel a soft touch, their tongues dancing with a sweet taste, their bodies getting closer and closer, his breathing getting deeper and deeper, then Jisung's voice reverberated in his head 'I like him' and he could see again his soft smile.

Felix opened his eyes and saw Chan kissing him, his eyes filled with tears again as he pushed him, apologizing. "I'm sorry, I can't do this to you, it'll be selfish doing that" Felix says.

"I'm sorry, Lix" Chan's voice cracked and he quickly left.

Felix just laid down on his bed, looking at the ceiling, crying himself to sleep 'I'm sorry Chan, I can't...' then he closed his eyes feeling the tears rolling down his face '...and the worst part is I wish I regretted the things I did that night, but I don't'.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧