Scars of her Blood • Shadowhunters

Chapter 22: Everything will be fine

Nobody in the hallway moved. Everyone present was either starring at each other or at the door behind Celia. The atmosphere at the headquarters was always tense when a stranger was here - especially if that stranger sniffed around in the army's business.

Suddenly, Lito, the second Senior, clapped his hands:

"Okay, guys, we all have something to do, I assume, so let's go."

Everyone moved immediately, as if a spell had been taken off them, disappearing into different directions.

Celia had quickly spotted Benicio, who had been watching the scene from their office door and walked over to him, slamming the door shut.

"Why does the thought of lying to her make me nauseous?", she asked him.

"Because you carry a part of her brother inside you.", Benicio was sitting back down at his desk, placing his feet on top of it.

"If you say it like that, it sounds weird...", Celia mumbled and took down the things she had simply thrown on the table a few minutes ago, dropping them on the floor instead. Then she sat down in her chair as well.

A pack of chewing gum landed on her table.

"For your nerves.", Benicio said, "try to see Adriana as a normal opponent. And focus on the techniques we learned, then everything will be fine."

Celia rolled her eyes:

"I'm seriously going to break out in hives next time someone says this!"

She knew that Benni was right; it was still just easier said than done.

"Can we talk about something else?", Celia asked him after the room had gone completely silent for a moment. Benicio did not answer, but his face was saying enough: Do you even need to ask?

Celia took a deep breath:

"I had a bit of a clash with Eileen again last night.", Benicio nodded, he had felt the fight, "I was going for Valentine, she stopped me and we fought for a bit. She ended up throwing me off the ship we were on."

Benicio's expression changed into concern, but he still did not say anything.

"I was in the water for maybe a minute, when Eileen jumped in as well and pulled me out again. Then she smashed my head in, healed it again, just to threaten to kill me a minute later and sedate me again."

Benicio raised an eyebrow:

"Wow, she has mood swings..."

Celia shrugged:

"I just don't understand what she is doing at all. What is her goal? Apparently not killing me, but she is also not really giving her best to persuade me to join her side."

"I know what you mean.", Benicio nodded, "does she have some sort of long term goal in mind?"

Celia shook her head:

"Again: what the fuck would that be? That woman wants revenge on my family, nothing else."

"Could she just be having fun torturing you?", Benicio asked.

"That would look different...", Celia mumbled. If this was supposed to be Eileen's idea of torture, then Celia had to give her some serious advice.

"Keep in mind that she is also under Valentine's orders. And he is not entirely right in the head, we know that. So maybe it's just him she is following."

"She would not do senseless stuff like this though.", Celia held against him, "not even under orders."

"You talk as if you have detailed insight into her character and thinking.", Benicio grumbled. Celia went silent. Once again, she knew he was right. But she really felt like she had known Eileen personally for a long time.

"I mean, maybe you two just think in similar ways, so you can analyze her well."

Celia shuddered:

"Don't compare me to that person, I beg of you!"

The rest of the day, Celia could not shake off the feeling that something would go terribly wrong. She had a bit of paperwork to do, but she could barely concentrate on it.

In the evening, Celia heard voices in the hallway outside and stepped out of her office. Álvaro was seeing Adriana off. Celia leaned in the door frame until he returned:

"Is she coming back tomorrow?"

Álvaro nodded. He looked exhausted:

"Yes, she is... She said she wants to go over the notes she made so far before continuing tomorrow. I think she is questioning us in order of rank, but I'm not sure if she even has a system behind it. Not that it matters. So far it's looking good for us."

He left Celia standing there, starring into thin air. The fact that Celia had to wait another day to get it over with was only making it worse.

Before Celia could go back into the office, Benicio approached her:

"Hey... I know we had a different problem today, but... have you talked to César about the duel yet?"

Celia flinched. She had forgotten all about that.

"I could not reach him on his phone since then.", she sighed, "I will go see him right now. I cannot very well sit around until tomorrow twiddling thumbs."

"Should I come with you?", Benicio asked, his voice unusually soft, "you seemed a little under the weather since Adriana showed up here."

"Well, is that so surprising?", Celia scoffed, "that woman could destroy my life – only fair after I destroyed hers."

"Celia.", Benni's voice was stern all of a sudden, "we do not know who killed him in the end. We do not know and we will never know and it does not matter anymore."

Celia nodded:

"I'll just go confront César."

When Celia walked up to César's office, Alonzo was standing in front of it:

"He is not here, no need to try."

"He has been avoiding me for a week, it's beginning to get suspicious. I am not planning on letting him hide any longer."

Alonzo seemed to sense that Celia was not in a good mood, because the polite smile that had appeared when he had seen her, disappeared just as quickly now:

"So, you are just going to camp in his office until he comes back?"

Celia shrugged and pulled the door open:

"He has to come back at some point. And I have time."

César did not show up for a long time. Celia had sat down on the window still of the big panorama window that was overlooking the palace grounds and a lot of downworld Mexico City. Celia leaned her forehead against the cold glass. She would have to find out what kind of motivations Eileen was following. She would also have to figure out a way to deal with Jocelyn Fairchild. Celia did not want to interact with her at all, but maybe she could give interesting information about Valentine.

Valentine, who had moved out of Celia's focus since Eileen had appeared and shown so much interest in Celia. If she could just take out Eileen, then Valentine would be an easy target. Back then, when Celia had been a child, those two had seemed like invincible figures, like big, bad, vague monsters. But now that Celia had become a monster herself to some people, she did not feel intimidated by the leaders of the Circle anymore. She still felt threatened, but not afraid to face and eradicate that threat.

On the other hand, there were threats that she could not comprehend. With the duel, a new door had opened for danger to come through. Unfortunately – and unexpectedly – that door opened from inside of the government. From inside the place where Celia had never felt complete trust and appreciation, but at least somewhat of an unspoken agreement of safety.

I think I relied on my title for too long. The more Celia thought about it, the more sense it made: Almost nobody addressed her as Your Highness anymore – mainly because Celia had forbidden it step by step. People feared her for her status in the army, but not everyone respected her for her position in the state.

Celia let her eyes glide over the city that was laid out in front of her, dipped into silver moonlight. Was it time to drop everything and become queen?