Hunter's Chance

e i g h t

James pulls away and leans his forehead on mine. It isn't until he pulls away and looks into my eyes that an unfamiliar warmth ignites vibrant and quick in my chest, it's come and gone before I can study it, so sudden, like a shooting star that I might've just missed it had I been anywhere else. He rubs his thumb on my cheek before pressing his mouth to mine once more and it's then that the sound of an obnoxious knock interrupts us. As he jumps up and heads for the door, I straighten up and take a deep breath just before making eye contact with a door in the hallway.

What the hell was that? I ask myself just when I make it to the bathroom. I can hear James tipping the pizza delivery guy, while I hide out near the towel rack and sink of this cream colored bathroom. I close my eyes and lean my head against the door trying to gather my thoughts.

When I pull away I'm caught looking into the mirror at the unrecognizable person staring back at me. My lips are bright red, from the kiss I just shared with James. My hair a mess, from tumbling out of Matt's car earlier, and my mascara smeared, probably from a combination of the two.

"What an asshole." I whisper to no one, while thinking of Matt.

So I find distractions in the form of liquid or the male species, this isn't new to me. I'm often left with mistakes and disasters I've created for myself and normally, things would have went how Matt wanted them to tonight. For whatever reason though, I was held back from my continuous self-sabotaging cycle and that's the part I can't figure out. I let out a huff as I take my index finger and swipe under my eyes and then take both of my palms and attempt to pat down my hair. "Who are you?" I mouth to myself in the mirror.

After maintaining that I don't have the answers I'm looking for, I reach for the door handle and just before opening it, I take in another deep breath. A wave, and I'm not talking a miniscule wave, I'm talking a ten footer that washes you up to the sand and rocks your world under the current, size wave of what I assume is anxiousness takes over my body. I stand there with my eyes closed as I let it wash over me, but before I can overthink it, I'm stepping out into the hallway.

James is in the kitchen cutting slices into the pizza when I walk in. He points to a cabinet, and I reach up and grab the plates and set them next to the pizza box. I hesitate to look up but when I do, his eyes are on me and he's smiling his stupid bright smile down at me. I scrunch my nose at him and fetch two beers out of the fridge before making my way to the living room.

He's putting the movie in as I sit back and eye his every move. None of this is familiar to me. Lets see, there are the nerves, the constant tugging on my clothes, and don't even get me started on the unnatural need to stare at his every movement. I'm a fidgeting mess and the loss of control over my own sanity is driving me absolutely insane.

At the realization that I'm over analyzing things, I reach forward and take a chug of the beer that sits on the coffee table before me and then take a massive bite of the pepperoni pizza. It's a delicious combination and I can't help it when I let out a groan at the taste. It's just what I need to distract me, that is, until I look up at catch him staring at me.

"Sorry." I mumble with a mouth full of food.

He doesn't say anything. Instead he just smiles and shakes his head as he starts up the movie. When he stands up and pads over to me I catch him carefully examining me. He's probably as freaked out by this as I am, and I can't help but feel a sense of relief at that.

The movie starts and a blanket is thrown over me as I lean into him. His arms are wrapped around my body and I'm sitting between his legs. His head is resting on my shoulder and I can feel his breathing on my neck. Naturally I lean my head back and close my eyes at the touch. My mind so naturally drifts to our shared intimacy from just moments ago and I hate that I've let this night spiral out of my control.