Hunter's Chance

t w e n t y - f i v e

Suddenly, it was light out. My mother shifted in the bed beside me and when I sat up and looked over her, I saw my brothers lanky body sprawled out on the floor next to the bed. I couldn't sleep and I watched as the room that was once filled with darkness awoke to the brightness of morning. I tossed my head back, forcing myself to lie down and stare at the ceiling as my mind circulated with assumptions. 

Maybe I was at fault. No, I thought. I still deserved the truth, whatever it may be. I can't help but bite back on the feeling of betrayal. Was that what this was? I had felt it before, many times, but this felt different. It was deeper and a lot harder to grasp onto. I huff as James words replay in my mind it has to be the right time, he said, right time for what? I didn't know but what I did know was that I had to go, I had to get out of here and I knew just the place.

I reached over for the nightstand, grabbing a small piece of paper and a red pen as I scribbled down a small note for mom and Conner.

-

I wrapped my hand around the glass cup and pulled the drink of water to my lips. "Whatever." I said, setting the cup back down.

"Whatever?"

"Yeah, it's not like it would have worked out anyways. Something like this was bound to happen. I mean, isn't that how all relationships work?"

"So you can finally recognize that this is, in fact, a relationship?" Ruby asked me.

She was standing on the other side of the bar, leaning up against the back table, and shaking her head at me. "You've been able to forgive your mother." She pointed out.

"So?"

She put her hand up to stop me. "You don't get it, do you?" There was emphasis behind this. "You took him to your fathers grave Raegan." Her head was slightly tilted now and her eyebrows were raised.

"That's not fair."

"What's not fair? That you look for any reason to back out of something this good?"

"I'm not looking, Ruby. It just happened to be there."

"Listen baby girl," she started as she stepped closer towards me. "You have been able to overcome things that you never thought were possible. You may not see it because for whatever reason, you're blind to anything that is good in your life, but he's the reason. He's the reason you've been able to fall in love with life again."

"He has baggage Ruby, secrets that even after months of being together, he hasn't been able to tell me."

"And you're innocent? Everyone's got baggage honey."

"I've never kept something from him."

"Maybe so, but if he's keeping something from you, it's for good reason. I may not know him as well as you, but I'm not oblivious to the love that boy has in his eyes." She reached forward, grabbing just below my chin, and lifting my face to hers before saying, "I see a glint of that in yours too." It wasn't the first time someone accused me of loving James. You, Raegan Hunter, have fallen. Cassidy's words come to mind.

I pulled away then, not letting her get to me. "Love? Okay, now you're being ridiculous!" I told her.

"Am I?"

I considered this as I nervously twirled around on my barstool. If I knew for certain, just one thing, it was that I felt vulnerable now. I had spent so long building my defenses, drilling bars over my heart to protect me from ever feeling this way. I took my time searching for short cuts that I managed to dodge the roads I already knew.

The Ruby curve, I liked to call it. She knows me and at times it's even better than I know myself. She's been an eye witness to some of my weakest moments, I guess that's why when I went for my drive this morning, I ended up right here. Plopped on the barstool, pleading for advice.

"I've got to go." I told her as I slid off the seat. 

"Oh no you don't. Get back over here."

I reach over the counter and give her a hug just as she reaches down and kisses me on the forehead "You're hostage to this, to love, just like the rest of us. It was only a matter of time until you found your person."

James is my person. So easily I could admit that, but love? That took things to a whole new level, a completely different dimension even. I'm not there and I know he isn't either. Not with Stacey and his secrets lingering like a shadow in broad daylight. There, but for him so easily forgotten. All I knew was that there was a talk that needed to take place.

I dialed mom first as I pushed on the bar doors and headed for my car.

"Sweetie, I got your note. Is everything okay?"

"I just needed to get away." I told her as I piled into my car. "I'm on my way back to Flagstaff right now, there's uh-there's some things I have to take care of but I'll be back this weekend."

"Okay, I'll see you then."

We exchanged I love you's and I hung up the phone with every intention to call James, but I hesitated. I missed him today, a lot, and there was no denying that but I knew this had to be done in person. So instead, I texted Jade for the address to the ranch, turned up the dial on the radio and made my way onto the interstate.

-

My phone navigation brings me down an old highway and tells me to take a right down an extended driveway. I abide and find myself smiling at the sight in front of me. James truck is parked at the end of the drive and he's leaning against it with his arms folded.

He's wearing faded blue jeans that cling to his legs and a white long sleeved shirt that's folded up to his elbows and forms to his olive skin in the most perfect way. I step out of the car and make my way to him.

"Hi." He says when I finally reach him.

"Hi." I return.

I squeal when he wraps his arms around my back and picks me up off the ground. "Jade said you were coming." He says, turning us so that now I'm the one leaning against the truck. "What's going on?"

"I thought we could talk." I said looking up to him.

I felt it then, the quick rush of familiarity seeping through my being. I knew what was coming next and if what Ruby said was right, about James loving me, then this was going to hurt. He brings my body down so my feet are reunited with the ground and out of instinct I wrap my arms around his neck. He, just like a habit, reaches down to my height and presses his lips to mine, almost making me forget what I came here for. Almost. But Cassidy's words replay over and over again.

You, Raegan Hunter, have fallen.

And I know what I have to do.

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fjdksalfjd don't hate me! I'm sorry it's so short, but it's setting up for some big things that are coming! I've already started working on the next few chapters so if you help me out by voting, commenting and sharing my story, maybe I'll get a double post up this week. ;) love you guys!

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