Hunter's Chance

n i n e t e e n

"You know," Wes said, sitting next to me as he brushed his fingers up and down my arm, "you can't stay mad at me forever."

I considered this as I watched the headlights from my rear view. James wasn't too far behind us and when I went to make a left turn, I saw, just under the street lights, his face, scruff and all. A small smile played on my lips as I felt goosebumps rise to my arms. "Would you stop?" I finally said to Wes, pulling my eyes away and looking right at him. I hesitate for a moment or two before admitting,"I'm just so confused."

"Listen," he started as he shifted in his seat, focusing all of his attention on me. "I told him where we were because even though I don't know him, I happen to know you, pretty well I have to admit." I slug at his arm and he continues, "you wanted him there."

"You're drunk." I deflect.

He let out a huff and then continued. "Do you remember what happened with us? What really happened?"

"What do you -"

He put his hand up, stopping me. "You were gone Rae," he said leaning his head forward as he looked for my eyes, he wanted my attention and I was here for it. I was quick to pull into his driveway and kill the ignition, I wanted to know where this was going to go.

"I loved you so much." if I knew for certain, even if it was just this one thing, it was that this was going to hurt like hell. "I would have done anything for you, but you were gone, checked out of every conversation we ever had and as much as I tried, you wouldn't let me in." He said running his thumb over my cheek.

"I never fully understood what you were going through at home because you wouldn't let me. But him," he said pointing his thumb over his shoulder towards the black truck that now sat parked on the side of the road, "Rae, it's different with him. You've already let him in."

This was true. I knew what I was doing when I neglected Wes all those years ago just like I knew what I was doing when I opened up to James. I was always one step ahead, it was a program that went with the feature. I always knew in which direction I wanted things to go. I always looked at it as my being organized. Now though, it was as if things were changing right before my eyes.

Wes grabs my face with both of his hands and for a split second I think he's going to kiss me, but I'm thankful when he doesn't. I watch as he stares into my eyes and finally says, "don't you dare let go of that. I might have given up on you, I may not have seen it before, but Rae, you're capable of loving someone. And I'm here to promise that when you do, it'll be amazing. It wasn't me and maybe it won't be him, but having seen how much a person can help you out of your damaged head," he eyes me before going on, "imagine what it could do to you in here." He says pointing at his heart.

It was a lot to take in. What I looked at as a simple relationship was now proving to be anything but. There was so much more to Wes, to our relationship, and I so carelessly overlooked it. Maybe had it been a different time, a different place, I would have been the one in love and he would have been the one turning me away.

"There's nothing sweeter than young kids in love, Rae. I loved you. Hell, sometimes I think I still do. But I may have dreamt up what we had. I'm realizing now that you were always on the ground running and I was just trying to keep up." He smiled then as if getting a play by play of our old-time fling. "Slow down and let him in. I think you'll be surprised to find how happy someone else can make you. I know I was."

I felt it then. The closure. And then, as if he felt it too, he brought my hand to his lips, leaving a gentle kiss just before climbing out of the car. I sat still though, as I tried my best to absorb everything that he said. I let it seep in as much as it could before I reached up and wiped away the falling tear. He was right and dammit did I hate when other people were right.