La Douleur Exquise // Muke {Completed}

Oubli

Luke was in Michael's mind and veins, haunting every thing he did and didn't do and it was scaring him how much one moment with him was affecting him. How everything was revolving around Luke and he wasn't even realising how much it was destroying him, more to the outside than in.

He was forgetting simple things, he wasn't drinking enough water or eating enough food until Ashton came and forced something down his throat and Michael wasn't sure why this was happening.

He wasn't sad, at least he didn't think he was, he wasn't angry, but no he wasn't particularly happy either. Even when he had wanted everything Luke had had to give him, his whole body begged for more and he couldn't do anything to relieve himself of this pull he had towards Luke. It was like defying gravity not going back.

Michael realised why he had had to leave just like that, without the closer or post-sex cuddles he wanted. Luke had a boyfriend and Michael was just the toy which made it a little more exciting than before. For some reason, Michael didn't mind that though.

Not saying Michael liked to be thrown around, or used as a doormat or anything along those lines. But something about Luke treating him like that, didn't put him off. Maybe it was because it was something new for him, something a little exciting for himself as well, but either way, he didn't want it to be a one time thing.

Sadly, it was turning out to be just that, a one night stand that took place in the middle of the day and Michael wanted to change that, but he didn't know how so instead he just sulked in his own room for hours on end.

Ashton was picking him up later in the afternoon. Michael hadn't told him why he was so annoyingly brooding over nothing, mostly because Ashton hadn't asked, so why should Michael give the answer then. Even if Ashton did ask, Michael would lie, Ashton didn't need to know everything anyway.

Maybe he was lonely, maybe that was Michael's problem. He hasn't been in a steady relationship, for, well ever actually. That's not saying he's never dated or anything, but his relationships only last four months tops and Michael was sure he was the one to blame for that.

Guys and girls alike found him to be, quite lazy, to say the least. He didn't like house work or cooking or moving in general. Michael was often left wondering why Ashton still put up with his constant shit. Yes Michael had learnt basic cooking and discovered he actually preferred to keep the place clean, but he was still pretty helpless. I guess that's what happens when you're an only child who pretty much got everything handed to them growing up.

Ashton arrived in Michael's apartment not much later, earlier than Michael had expected, but then Michael had lost any sense of time and wasn't sure whether it had been hours or minutes going by,"Yo, yo, yo," he called, placing something on Michael's kitchen counter and walking over to wear Michael was sat on the couch, blanket wrapping his shoulders.

"You're too white to say that," Michael murmured, and Ashton rolled his eyes, sitting next to his friend who seemed to have a permanent scowl the past few days and too much to think about. Ashton just wanted Michael to chill for a bit.

"I thought we were going somewhere," Michael added, running a hand through his hand and pulling the blanket around Ashton's shoulders as well as him own, Ashton leaning into the warmth naturally. Everything was natural between them.

Ashton shook his head,"Nah, thing got cancelled. I brought some beers, thought we could hang like old times," he explain, drawing his knees to his chest, and he was wearing old socks that Michael recognised as his own, not that he cared. Half his wardrobe was actually Ashton's.

Ashton got up, picking a couple of cans from the pack he'd bought and they were already getting too warm, but it was no place for Michael to complain as he popped it open, taking a long gulp from the lukewarm liquid.

Ashton watched Michael's hunched figure from the corner of his eye. He looked tired, more than usual, and Ashton was worried, he really was,"You know you can tell me anything right?" Ashton said softly, nudging his friend who had seemed to zone out, only just registering Ashton's words.

Michael nodded, drinking the rest of his can in two long gulps and placing the empty can on the table, ready to be crushed in some recycling factory far away."Yeah I guess. I, I dunno, I want to see how things play through, before I admit to them happening. Does that make sense?" Michael said softly, and to Ashton, no, it didn't. But he was just going to accept it and move on, hoping it would help Michael open up, at least later along the line.

"How about piano boy, what's happening with him?" Ashton asked, grinning at his friend, who's eyes lit up at the mention, but scowl only furthered to deepen itself into Michael's face. Ashton didn't know what to think.

Michael rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest,"His names Luke and you literally met him not that long ago," Michael replied, and Ashton had forgotten about that day somehow, though he remembered how Michael looked at Luke like he owed him the world. A look too deep for someone you hardly knew.

"Now that you know his name, you'll be to third base in no time," Ashton joked, because when in doubt, tell a joke right, relieve tension and whatever else. It didn't work as any life in Michael's eyes left and any happiness in the corners of his mouth diminished as quickly as it had got there.

"Yeah," he murmured.