La Douleur Exquise // Muke {Completed}

Disparition

Michael wanted to keep Luke safe. Safe in his apartment for the rest of their imperfect lives. He didn't like the idea of Luke leaving and being vulnerable and Michael just wanted to look after him make him feel loved and wanted, because at that time it didn't seem as if Luke had felt anything close to those things in a while.

But Luke had been whisked away from Michael before he was able to do anything about it. Everyday Luke was away from Michael, he could feel the life and soul of him slipping through his fingertips and he needed to help Luke, make him alright again. He needed to be the one to save Luke.

But he had watched as Luke bundled himself and a small bag into a taxi cab, Calum following him in and then they were gone, and there was nothing thing Michael could do to stop them leaving, of course. He couldn't take Luke away from Calum, not because he himself was afraid of Calum, but of the consequences that would happen to Luke if he did do anything.

And now they'd been gone for three days. Where, well Michael didn't know. He had no contact at all with the taller boy, no phone number or anything. Michael wasn't able to find him online anywhere. He was a mystery, disappearing just like that. The only real reassurance was that no moving trucks had come to take his stuff.

Michael needed to get away from his apartment. The sight of the plain walls, cold and emotionless were driving him crazy. He just wanted to get away for a while, to try and forget his troubled neighbour for a bit and everything else.

He packed up the few clothes he owned and left, heading towards Ashton's with no warning,many maybe he was turning into Luke in certain ways, turning up at people's doors when everything became too much and hoping for sympathy to be spent on him. In fact, that was basically what Michael was doing now, driving over to Ashton's with plagued thoughts taking him over.

Ashton loved across the city, further than Michael would've liked to go and Michael blasted music just to take his mind off everything. He'd been thinking too much and he wanted it to stop for a bit and he'd never experienced anything like this before, but he didn't like it.

Michael had a set of Ashton's keys for himself, just as Ashton had some Michael's apartment. Ashton had always been more successful than Michael, academically and now in the real world too, owning a largish house to the outskirts of the city. Michael got jealous of him a lot, but then perhaps that was just because he was a jealous person.

Michael walked up the gravel path and unlocked the door, sliding into the house quietly. It was dark in the house, no one was home. That was when Michael felt not only lonely, but alone. No one was around and nobody care to tell him why they weren't there anymore. He'd never felt alone like this, he didn't like the dread in his heart and shakiness that found its way to his hands. He wanted it gone.

Michael traipsed further into the house, making sure to take his shoes off first because he knew Ash didn't like dirty shoes worn in his house. He made it to the kitchen in the back of the house and picked the keys to the garden off the counter, opening the backdoor. He didn't want to be indoors, in this claustrophobia that he was starting to feel. The four walls that made up the house were too tight for him. He needed fresh air and an escape, anything.

Ashton's garden was tiny, with huge fences blocking out any chance of sunlight coming in. He had the usual things in there, chairs, table, a rusty barbecue that had been out in the rain one too many times. Michael ignored the chairs though, lying out on the grass instead.

The ground was slightly damp, soaking through his shirt and onto his skin easily, making him shiver with cold, but he didn't get up. He stared up at the sky, watching the cloud, which were a solid gray, as if it could rain any moment, Michael vaguely wished it would, to wash away his thoughts and emotions for a bit. That'd be nice.

The occasional bird swooped down, landing so close to Michael he could hear the pitter patter of feet, but he didn't dare to move because he didn't want this tiny creature to disappear. The birds were like him, leaving at any slight disturbance that happened, even if it was only close to him, and not directly affecting him.

The bird flew away as the sky opened up, rain crashing down on his bare face and he didn't get up, he just let it happen. He was fading away as he lay there, water dripping off his skin just to be replaced with more and he felt himself disappearing into the earth and becoming a part of nature itself and maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

"Michael, what the fuck are you doing, get in here," Ashton called from the doorway, but Michael didn't reply, or make any move to get up or go inside. He was too far gone, disappearing from the world, slipping into a new void that he wouldn't be able to escape ever. The thought of that made Michael only feel calm as he continued to evaporate like the rain that fell and the thoughts that once plagued his mind.