There is nothing more beautiful than watching an innocent angel fall apart at my sinful actions. I'm going to ruin her.
"Augustine."
And she comes, looking down at me as she does so.
She glows, lighting up the goddamn room. Her feet barely touch t...
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I hug Deshawn's mother, telling her to call me if she needs anything.
"Thank you, sweet girl," she squeezes my hand, grieving tears on her face. I'm trying to look strong, maybe make her feel better, but all I see is the closed casket of my childhood friend and ex-boyfriend.
I nod, kissing her cheek before paying my respects alongside Amaiah. She wraps an arm around me, leaning her head against mine.
I pray a Hail Mary over him, hoping his life finds peace.
We sit back down at our spots in the pews when his mother goes up to make a speech dedicated to him.
"I never thought I would see my son passing before I went," she starts, wiping her tears. I don't think I can listen to this.
"This violence...on children," she shakes her head, "it has to stop. Poor, innocent lives are being lost because of the reactions of criminals," she fists her hands on the podium.
"And I know my son has not been the first, the only, or the last," she admits, black curls rattling with each emotional movement she makes. She's upset. And I am, too.
"There needs to be something done to turn these lives around before they are lost."
"Amen," someone calls out from behind us. I wipe my eyes, leaning into Amaiah's embrace.
"God has clarity on us," she adds, "God gives us grace to survive situations like this, but these children lose their way."
"All I ask," she exhales, "is to end these massacres."
———
Augustine: I'm sorry about last night
Me: don't worry ab it. are you ok?
Augustine: yes
I wanted to ask so many questions, but I know it isn't my place. He left for "work" but he's getting fucked up on drugs and calling me in the middle of the night instead.
I want to ask him why, why he did it and why he fucking called me.
He's so confusing.
I just need to forget about this and focus on myself. Just like old times. Act like nothing happened.
Frank Ocean plays as I drive to the barbershop. Julien had texted me after Deshawn's funeral, saying he saw me there and wanted to confirm that I gave him the right number.
He asked me what I was doing today, and I told him I had work.
Now, he's apparently going to see if I can give him a good haircut. I'm a little nervous, not wanting to hurt his ego if I screw up his hair.
But luckily for him, I don't screw up.
Leo greets me as I walk in, telling me I had a few appointments later but walk-ins were slow this afternoon.
