A Glimpse of Us • Sodapop Curtis

Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ ｔｗｅｎｔｙ-ｏｎｅ

Tori

The utter feeling of confusion and shock engulfed my whole body. I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to do but to continue staring at Eric, hoping that he would tell me it was a stupid joke.

But from the look on his face, the sympathetic and sad look he was giving me confirmed to me that it wasn't.

I felt like crying but at the same time I felt like I was in a dream, because the feeling I felt was indescribable.

Eric licked his lips and altered his gaze away from my own and uttered, "I'm sorry, Tori."

I shook my head, not at his apology, but because none of this made sense to me.

Is this really what Toni has been up to this whole time?

I clasped my right hand into a fist to massage the headache that I was getting from trying to wrap my head around the sentence Eric just announced to me not too long ago.

"What do you mean everyone knows?" I whispered, clasping my eyes shut.

Eric cleared his throat, "I told you that you're the only one I didn't know about," I felt like the room was spinning, and I tried to convince myself that it was because I really was dreaming and soon I would wake up, "of course it's mostly been Dal to pick your brother up, but i've seen the other guys there once or twice."

"Doesn't mean that they know," I said, trying to make an excuse for them, but mostly trying to comfort myself.

I looked up to see Eric giving me an almost disgusted look, "C'mon, you're not dumb, they're definitely not stupid enough to overlook your brother when he's high off his ass."

I let out a bitter laugh, "I must be dumb if I can't even tell if my brother is on drugs."

Eric clicked his tongue at me, "You know, it's not a difficult task to hide something like that from someone if you try hard enough, especially when it's more than one person hiding it from you."

"They all hid it from me?" I whispered to myself, feeling the tears welt up in my eyes.

I haven't cried since our dad passed, and the feeling of going through this all over again was making my chest burn.

Eric stayed quiet, I didn't know if it was because he didn't know what to say, or if it was because he was trying to let me make sense of all of this.

The silence around me didn't make me feel better, it was just making me angry.

They all hid this from me?

They hid it from me even after they saw how crazy it was making me?

They hid it from me despite that i'm closer to Toni than any of them?

Toni hid it from me? His twin sister?

I thought the world of him, how did he see me?

How many lies did they tell me to keep me from the truth?

How could Soda look me in the eye and say he has feelings for me, and then lie to me?

I got snapped out of my thoughts by Eric tapping his hand on the table in front of my view, "Tori?"

I didn't realize that I had tears streaming down my face or my jaw clenching so tight that it was only adding to my headache.

Eric was scanning my face and he looked concerned, "Listen, I know how you're feeling but-"

"I'm going to strangle the living shit out of all of them."

Before Eric could speak another word to me I jumped out of the booth and ran to the door, trying so desperately not to slip on the floor that was coated in a thin layer of rain water and mud.