Termination of Desire

Kabanata 16

"Miss Ma'am, nasaan ka na?"

"Just one more lap," I answered my secretary on the line.

She sighed.

"You still have an event to attend to tomorrow."

"I know."

"You know. Then?"

"Then I'll go home after I finish one more lap," I answered heavily because I'm jogging.

"Alright, then."

She ended the line. I jogged faster until I completely ran.

After Mimi's death, I continued striving. Kahit na sobrang hirap para sa akin ang magpatuloy sa pag-aaral, ipinagpatuloy ko para sa kanya. I took the final exams at the last minute, and I passed. Kahit na lumuluha akong nagsasagot, lumuluhang kumakain, lumuluhang nagsusukat ng toga, lumuluhang nagrerehearse ng graduation, at lumuluhang nagpapicture ng graduation photo, nagpatuloy ako para sa kanya.

Because the world doesn't stop for my grief. I was still grieving, but life continues. And that was also what she wanted me to do. To live my dreams for her. Kaya kahit mahirap, kahit masakit, nagpatuloy ako.

She was supposed to graduate with the highest honor award, but she didn't make it. I remember how Aling Rosie brought her framed photo to our graduation ceremony and marched crying. That was the most painful and heaviest scene I have ever seen in my life. The supposed exciting and joyful ceremony became so very depressing. I couldn't stop crying that day, as did my fellow classmates.

I was crying as I watched Aling Rosie hold her diploma. And more tears fell from me when she knelt down and hugged it, crying miserably.
 
It was so painful. It was so depressing. Losing the person who accepted me first as her friend. Losing the person who truly cared for me and loved me. Losing the person whom I treated as my own sister. Losing the person who believed in me when no one does. Losing the person who gave me so much inspiration and encouragement. Losing the person...who became my shield, my home, my shoulder, my other half. My one and only best friend. My treasure, Milicent Madrigal.

"Pangako, bessy. Tutuparin ko ang mga pangarap natin. Tutuparin ko ang mga pangarap ko para sa 'yo," umiiyak na sabi ko habang tinitignan ang lapida niya habang nakataas ang isang palad.

I shut my eyes tightly as I came to a full stop. A tear fell from my eye as I remembered that day. When it was raining and I went to her grave just to say goodbye because I was leaving for college in Manila.

Tumingin ako sa madilim na kalangitan at pinunasan ang luhang tumakas. My best friend officially became a star. And she guided me all the way to where I am today. The star twinkled, and I smiled.

It was exactly nine in the evening when I went back to my penthouse. My secretary called me again for the event I am attending tomorrow. I just rolled my eyes and sat on the couch. I reached for my bottled water as I listened to her on the line.

"Your flight is 9am tomorrow and the event sets to begin at 7pm, Miss Villarosa. You have an online meeting at 2pm with Mr. David, the senior brand director at Versed. 3pm online meeting with Miss Faye, the executive beauty director at BCG. And pre-dinner meeting with Mr. Accardi, the Italian beauty editor you wanted to give your latest creation, at 4pm."

Tumaas ang isang kilay ko dahil sa sunod-sunod kong meeting before the event.

"So technically, you only have one hour to pamper yourself in preparation for the event. I have already received your evening gown and heels. I had it prepared too, and I have already booked you an appointment to a high-end salon. All is set. You don't have to worry about the one-hour rest."