Mirage

41

Pretending that everything was fine was hard.

Haeun refused to keep it awkward between her and Sunwoo at school considering that they would meet each other everytime - screw that idea of being seatmates.

So she would pretend that she was not even effected. She would be talking to him during classes, smiling at him everytime their eyes met and would even wish him good luck for practices.

She would be masking herself strong nonetheless only God knew how she was yearning for him.

Sunwoo obviously was treating her the same, in his head they were still dating. But it hurt him when Haeun obviously had drawn an invisible line between them.

He no longer could touch her as much as he did - let alone feeling her touch. He would be glad to take her hand and place it on his chest like on daily basis but Haeun completely shut him down.

And the recess, the girl would flee away first before Sunwoo could hold her.

Just like right now where she wasted her time on the rooftop, resting her head on Eric's shoulder, Jia did the same on the other side.

"I should've listened to you right?" suddenly Haeun said, startling her two friends by the abruptness. She sighed as she sat up straight, looking into Eric's eyes. "When you told me not to date Sunwoo, I should've listened".

That was when Eric pushed Jia away, standing up next. He faced them both as he raked his silky hair that surely had been messed by the wind.

"For the record, I wished I'd never said it either", he smiled with some sarcasms filling in, the two girls exchanged glances. "You dated Sunwoo had brought lots of good things in my life and I did wish you two never break up".

"I am..." Haeun brought her hand to her chest, slightly clenching the fabric as she scrunched her brows. "Offended".

"Good", Eric shrugged, his arms were then being pulled into a cross. "For another record, I don't take either your or Sunwoo's side. When his ex came attacking you, I was mad at him and now, I am mad at you for giving pain to my friend".

The boy had tried his best to look intimidating. Maybe at least giving her a realization that a breakup was not the best idea but Haeun was always creating a surprise anyone could ever see coming.

With another sigh, she crossed her arms, "sorry for that".

Eric was in disbelief. The sight he was seeing was like Kim Haeun had become someone heartless. Did all the memories she had with Sunwoo were now disappeared? How could she react this way?

He was about to throw tantrums as he looked at Jia like a 5 years old toddlers reporting someone to his mother yet the female never taking his side. Instead, she asked him to let it slide.

"Are you okay though?" Jia took the turn, asking with full of worries filling in her voice.

At that, Haeun stirred in her position as if she was looking for a comfort posture. That alone had answered Jia's question.

Kim Haeun then rose up, scooting closer to the railing where she could see the field Sunwoo was practicing in from up there. Like an old tape, all the memories they had created within that certain field were flashing before her eyes, bringing tears in a split second.

Adapting was indeed hard.

"It does hurt us both but I believe time will heal", she bent forward, resting her cheeks against the cold railing. "I'll be taking a week leave. Maybe he can start adapting life without me".

"I doubt that", Eric added, watching Haeun getting back to the straight posture. Even she did not look at his direction, he could tell she was wrenching. "But I can distract him".

Haeun grinned. Though it was unseen by anyone, she sincerely grinned, being too thankful that she had her friends. No words could describe how thankful she was towards them, for not being judgemental.

She doubted if anyone else could act like them. Hundreds students down there might have judged her by now for breaking up with Sunwoo - a romantic boy Kim Sunwoo. They probably were spreading words about her being such an ungrateful person after all Sunwoo had done for her.

"I hope he will be fine", her vision started to be blurry but Haeun blamed the wind for hitting her eyeballs instead of the untold feeling welled up in her chest. "So do you two".

At that, a pair of arms snaking from both side of her figure, a head was then laid on her right shoulder. Haeun need not to turn around to find out what was happening, the small sobs beside her ear were enough to let her figure out.

"We have agreed not to talk about leaving", Jia hardly spoke, almost all the time she was trying to hold back. "Everything is gonna be fine".

It sound more like a gaslighting. It seemed like she was hypnotizing Haeun to only think about the good things despite she herself was dreading.

Nonetheless, no other comfort words could control Haeun anymore. She knew herself, she knew her own capability.

And that thought alone had brought the brimmed tears down her cheeks, which had tightened Jia's hug around her figure.

Eric was no exception. Seeing his two friends being engulfed in such an emotion was painful. He surely did not prepare for any goodbye nor he want to lose any of them. He just wanted to graduate high school together and tease them 10 years later for having bad graduation photos.

"Come here", Jia extended her hand towards the boy which in no minute Eric crashed on them with a bit momentum, making the three stumble a little.

But, no one had the room to be mad. They ended up crying together for they did not want to let go of this beautiful friendship.

It reminded Haeun to an old friendship she once had. All beautiful before it crashed down, got no chance to be built back - she thought so.

"Is Jihoon here?" she eyed the few boys in front of her. They absolutely could see the hatred flow down her eyes, but they could care less.

"You're unreadable", Junkyu said, extending a finger to touch her sunken cheek. "I like that".

"Didn't I say, not to touch her?"

Everything suddenly turned silent, only the sound of footsteps approaching were heard. Haeun was glad that she finally saw him. Being too long amongst people you hated was suffocating.

"I want to talk", she sounded impatient which left Jihoon with no choice other than dismissing his group of friends.

"Kinda weird to have you coming all the way to...talk", he smirked but in return no emotion could be seen on the girl's face. Jihoon swallowed hard before admitting his defeat. "What is it?"

Haeun heaved a huge amount of oxygen, suddenly the coldness she always radiated was now missing, being replaced with warmth.

"I've broken up with Sunwoo", she told with a faint smile across her face - that was not genuine. "But, I didn't do it because you ask. It's simply because I don't want to hurt him".

Jihoon skimmed her face thoroughly, he did not seem to be listening to her words. What he did was only scanning her.

"Can you please do the same?" her question caught him off guard, proving that he had been staring for too long. "Can you please stop all this childish grudges you have on him?"

"You're protecting him now, do you?" he chuckled. "Why?"

"It's the least I could do", Haeun breathed out, her focus was now on the ground. "And I have a new wish that I want you to fulfil".

Taken aback, Jihoon took a step back. This was so random after those years they had been distancing each other.

"I'd want to see my friend for one last time", she lifted her head, her eyes were now glassy. "I'd seen the best of you before you decided to abandon me. Before you chose them over me".

Unknowingly, Haeun pointed to the group she rather called as Jihoon's minions.

In a wave, all the words she spat were ringing endlessly. The emotion on her face right now was full of hopes that Jihoon started to sense something hidden behind the wish she voice out.

Like it was really the last time.