Love, Hate and Death (Light Yagami x Reader)

CH 13 CARELESS

As I walked on the sidewalk which felt endless, a feeling of guilt washes over me. My carelessness once again has caused everyone trouble, it was as if a thousand signs were coming right at me that this isn't the right path for me. It was overwhelming and I'm so disheartened, I can barely breathe. 

"Hello?" I answered my phone after the fourth ring; I was going to ignore and let it go to voicemail but I couldn't afford to disappoint anyone else anymore. 

"Y/N! Where are you? The police came back and they're asking more questions about the case. They need the nurse in charge" Hara was practically yelling through the phone, I could tell that she's extremely worried. "Oh, sorry. I just went for a little walk, I needed some fresh air; figured I might get fired today for what happened" 

"Fired? come on, don't think that way! Doc Daiki is going to forgive you just like always does" 

"Tsk, maybe this time, I don't want to be forgiven. I deserve it, this is all my fault. I'm coming back but if he doesn't fire me, I'm resigning" I ended the call, leaving Hara no chance to counter my decision. I realized that it was a little selfish, especially since it meant leaving my friend as well but.. honestly, I might just never forgive myself for losing Light like that. 

...

"Alright, got it. Thank you. Any other details you would like to share with us that might help the case?" 

"Uh well, the television was on when I came in, he reads a book everyday and I would notice his bookmark move about ten pages every morning but today, it was at the same page" 

"So he had no time to read a book.. I'm guessing the culprit was waiting for Light to wake up and go to the restroom. Seems like he knew about his morning routine as well. Do you have any idea of who could have monitored Light's actions and movements or even just a visitor who came in recently?" 

I paused to think, no one came to mind. Aside from the doctor who does his regular check-ups, I was the only one knowledgeable enough about his routine and habits. 

"No, I don't think so" I responded, looking down to try and think of any possible suspects.

"No problem, please update me as soon as you can once the cctv cameras have been fixed. We will gather a list of suspects from the information at hand" The police officer left the room, going over the notes on his notepad. 

"The whole hospital is really shaken up by this incident..the board is not liking this for our image. It's best to try not to get word around" Doc Daiki pats me on the shoulder while I await the news that he must've been itching to tell me. 

"Oh and the repair company didn't even return any of my calls at all, what's worse is they might even reschedule the repair of our cctv cameras.. just when we needed it the most, ugh" He groaned. 

...

"What are you still doing here, looking at me like a lost dog?" Doc Daiki glared at me as I stare at him silently. "Aren't you going to fire me?" I couldn't bare to look him in the eye, I was ashamed. 

"Fire you? That's not up to me..but if it was, you're not fired. Stop blaming yourself, I know I said it was your mistake but you didn't kidnap Light, did you? It would have been worse if you or any staff got hurt so stop worrying so much and get back to work." He walked away before I could say anything. I was planning on resigning no matter what he'll say to me but..

I guess he can be sweet sometimes..

"Ack, Y/N, are you crying? Awww, don't cry, I told you Doc was not going to fire you, everything will be fine, alright?" Hara hugged me, gently rubbing my back. 

"W-were you listening in on our conversation this whole t-" 

"Shh, shh.. you're saying nonsense now, it's okay, you'll be fine" Hara interrupted me, I chuckled as tears kept rolling down my cheeks. The overwhelming feeling I was holding in was overflowing and I couldn't stop crying. 

...

I found myself mindlessly pacing back and forth in Light's room, a little bit of his scent lingered in the air and all the times I spent with him came back to me; but now he's gone and all I have left is his scent. 

I can't stay there, I would just beat myself up endlessly for being such a careless nurse. I walked down the streets long after the sun had set. I convinced Hara to go home and take a rest after all the help she has given, now I'm left with my thoughts and they weren't pretty.