A Version Of Us

☂︎3.64☂︎

Trigger warning: this chapter contains mentions of abuse and forms of torture
Please read with caution

~~~~~

Oh, all that I did to try to undo it
All of my pain and all your excuses
I was a kid but I wasn't clueless
Someone who loves you wouldn't do this
All of my past, I tried to erase it
But now I see, would I even change it?
Might share a face and share a last name, but
We are not the same

~~~~~

"You're a great parent, ya know?"

Zayn looked at Tony "Huh?"

Tony looked at the 3 kids outside who were running around, laughing and giggling

"You're a great parent. I don't know shit about how you were raised, but you didn't let it dictate how you will parent your kids and that's-" He shrugged "Great"

Zayn stayed quiet then sighed "Sit"

Tony frowned "I'm not a-"

"With me"

They both sat down on the steps and Zayn sighed, he rubbed his hand over his face before he muttered something, dropped his hands then looked at Tony

"The reason I hate being touched is because while I was growing up, Brian used to beat the shit out of me"

Tony quickly turned towards Zayn with his eyes wide open

"I was selectively mute, but Brian didn't know that. He thought I was an idiot, and he wanted to beat that out of me, whips, burns, cuts. He tried everything to a point where I hated being touched because that's what I associated it with."

"Once I started to talk, and Brian realised I wasn't actually an idiot, he wanted to use that. He tried to brag in front of all of his friends that his son is the smartest, my hyperthymesia was discovered when I was 7 and he wanted to test my IQ, when I flunked it on purpose, and he knew. He didn't like it that he couldn't tell everyone how smart I am with proof. I came back home from school and he shot me, made me wait 12 minutes and said if I made any sound he'll shoot me again. I had the bullet taken out while I was awake because if they waited any longer I would've died"

"When I was 10, I let an innocent man go. Brian wanted to cut my fucking heart out, because Brian can't have someone weak as a son"

"He got me into alcohol, made me drink everyday after training, I became addicted, then I found out that Yaser came one day and forced Brian to take me to rehab"

Zayn rubbed his face and looked at Yaser "You asked Brian to take me to rehab?"

Yaser frowned and nodded "Yes. I don't think you know but I saw you one day, and I didn't wish for your life to end because of a bottle"

Zayn rubbed his jaw and cleared his throat "Thank you, for that"

Yaser frowned "Do you mind telling me what happened?"

Tony stayed quiet and Zayn did too, for a while. He tried to think about what to say next

"In rehab, I wasn't treated like an addict…. I was treated like a psychopath, but 10 times worse. Brian paid them extra for them to do whatever, he didn't care. For 2 months, I was in a straightjacket, got fed via straw and they'd let the others come into my room every night to beat me up, while screaming about how worthless I am and how worthless my life is. 1 month before my release it was turned into wilderness therapy"

Zayn rolled his neck and took a shaky deep breath then met Tony's eyes

"Everything that happened to me while I was here? The water spraying, the screaming, the mental abuse? Brian got it all from there, but what Brian did was almost nothing compared to what they did"